


To Build A Family

by Elven_Archer_3 (orphan_account)



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Ballroom Dancing, Class Differences, First Kiss, First Time, Headaches & Migraines, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Violence, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Single Parent Shepard, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-26 07:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Elven_Archer_3
Summary: Oh sure, humans shied away from the ‘s’ word. Biotics were definitely not slaves, well-off humans would say at their fancy parties and in their fancy government offices. But Kaidan knew better. In the eyes of most of humankind, he was nothing more than a piece of property.An AU where pretty much everything is the same, except human biotics are seen as dangerous by the rest of their species. As a preventative measure they have been collared and since enslaved by the rest of humanity. Kaidan Alenko is one of these biotics, up for sale, once again. He crosses paths with a certain Alliance commander who, little does the biotic know, will change his life for good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, I feel like I should write a few notes before you begin this- whatever this is.
> 
> I honestly had no intention of writing this. I have never in my life written a work of fiction, so I would like to apologize in advance. Not really so you'll go easy on me, but...just so you know.
> 
> I tried to get all my exposition in, but I have so many specific tweaks to the game's canon, it was a little difficult. Just for clarification, this takes place about 70 years ahead of the actual Mass Effect timeline. My idea is that all of the events of the first game still happen, just pushed a little in the future. Also, it really was just Saren and the Geth, meaning no Reapers. Kaidan's backstory is obviously different, but the other character's keep theirs. I also swapped Kaidan and Shepard's ages, so Shepard is older than Kaidan in this story. 
> 
> I'll try to clarify any points of potential confusion in upcoming chapters. For this chapter I can only say that I have no idea what the bidding would actually start at for a slave auction. For obvious reasons.

“Five minutes until the auction starts. Don’t get any ideas.”

Kaidan refocused his eyes at the gruff voice, glancing away from the asphalt ground to the human auctioneer who had just passed in front of him. 

He quickly lowered his eyes again and took a steadying breath. 

_“Just breathe,”_ he told himself. He could do this. Kaidan took another breath and let it out in a short sigh. He curled his hands into fists, but his fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. He could feel his heart beating in his throat, underneath the ever-present collar around his neck. 

Kaidan shifted his weight from his position on the short platform that served as an auction block and ran a hand through his dark hair. No matter how many times he’d been through this, it never got any easier. Kaidan took a second to glance up around him, attempting to avoid eye contact with anyone in the crowded shopping center. Merchants selling anything from weapons to children’s toys lined their booths up on the street nearby, eager to draw in more customers. Skycars zoomed by overhead, some even coming to hover down at street level to browse the shops. Pedestrians came from all directions, eager children dragging less eager parents this way and that. 

Kaidan watched as onlookers started to gather around the stage. Mostly humans, he noted, though a few other aliens were loitering on the sidelines.

If it weren’t for that transport crash downwind of his mother all those twenty-nine years ago, Kaidan could be down there with them, shopping without a care in the world. But instead, here was, up on this stage at twenty-nine years old, a biotic. A slave. 

Oh sure, humans shied away from the ‘s’ word. Biotics were definitely not slaves, well-off humans would say at their fancy parties and in their fancy government offices. But Kaidan knew better. In the eyes of most of humankind, he was nothing more than a piece of property.

He raised a hand to knead into the muscles of his neck just above the collar. At least he didn’t have chains on, this time. He eyed the edge of the platform, considering. He couldn’t even try to use his powers, not with the dark carbon fiber collar stealing the energy from his amp port. He was just like a regular human with it on. Any chance of trying to escape would probably come to a swift end. He wasn’t even worth the chains.

A small sniffling to his left made Kaidan avert his gaze from the crowd. He turned his head to look at the young boy, probably no older than fourteen, standing on the platform next to him. 

“Hey,” Kaidan whispered to the boy. “Hey, we’ll get through this.” 

The boy, god, Kaidan didn’t even know his name, wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve.

“What if…” the boy started.

“Hey,” Kaidan glanced at the auctioneer, who was currently surveying the crowd for prospecting bidders, then moved over to put his arm around the boy’s shoulders. “I promise, you’ll get through it. We’ll get through it,” He glanced over to the third biotic on the stage, a woman on the other side of the boy. Kaidan met her eyes and tried to smile. The dark haired biotic wished he could promise that everything would turn out okay. But would it? Kaidan could only pray that was the case.

“Okay,” the boy breathed out. Kaidan tried again to give him a smile, but feared it turned out more like a grimace. He gave the young biotic’s shoulder a squeeze just as the auctioneer grabbed Kaidan by the sleeve and dragged him back in line.

“I said don’t get any ideas, biotic,” the burly man snapped as he roughly let go of Kaidan. “I don’t know what you’re plotting, but don’t even think about making a break for it this time” he growled, pointing a calloused finger in Kaidan’s face.

Kaidan stared straight forward as the auctioneer gave him one last glare before turning to lumber toward the front of the platform.

“And so it begins,” Kaidan said under his breath.

“Hello ladies and gentlemen.” The auctioneer suddenly developed a cheery persona, his accent practically dripping. “Let’s just cut right to the chase, shall we?” Kaidan heard a few chuckles from the crowd. Even with the kid still sniffling next to him, they managed to laugh. Disgusting.

“I have three biotics for you today, you’ll find no finer a selection anywhere else. We’ll start with one of my best,” he gestured to Kaidan, who didn’t budge. “You may have seen him up here before, he’s a feisty one, this biotic. But he’s built for hard labor, he’s strong, tough, and he’s not so bad on the eyes, either,” The auctioneer finished with a wink, earning more chuckles from the crowd.

Kaidan swallowed. He’d rather them focus on his strength than on his looks.

“I’ll start the bidding at one hundred thousand credits. Do I see a hundred thousand credits?” the auctioneer began.

Kaidan closed his eyes. Breathe in, and out. He could do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as promised, I did want to explain a few of my tweaks to the canon to avoid any confusion. 
> 
> While I know Mass Effect follows the Navy ranks for the Alliance, Kaidan can become a Major in the 3rd game, which is a rank for the Army (or Marines, or Air Force). I wanted Shepard to be a little higher up in the ranks than he actually is in the game, a little more at Anderson's level. SO I sort of made up my own ranking system? Just a little. Basically, this follows the Army's ranking system, instead of the Navy, replacing Colonel with Commander, since I didn't want to change Shepard's title. So he is still titled a "Commander" in this work, but in real world standards would be at the same level as Colonel. (This is all based on American ranks :) )

“Ah, don’t you want to get something for the girls? Take their minds off things a little?” Garrus Vakarian glanced around the shopping center, all sorts of alien species milling about. “Look,” he gestured to one of the stalls, “guns! I could start training them early. Might come in handy,” the turian’s mandibles flared out from his face with excitement.

“Garrus, if you don’t stop side-tracking me, I’m going to be late for these interviews,” Commander John Shepard complained as he walked beside his best friend, never slowing his pace. “I have five of them lined up from the agency today.” He pulled down on the front of his Alliance dress uniform. He would much rather be in his civvies, but, appearances, and all that.

“Whatever you say, _Commander,_ ” Garrus mocked with a flourish of a salute. “I’ll walk you to the hotel conference room and then I’m coming back here to pick out something for the girls. What do you think is the smallest pistol they have?”

" _Garrus_ ," Shepard warned, glancing at the turian, still weaving in and out of shopfronts.

“Okay, okay,” Garrus raised his hands placatingly. “I’ll go with you to your interviews. Scare the shit out of those prospects. If they can stand up to me, they can have the job,” the turian said with an evil gleam in his eye.

“Thanks Garrus, I appreciate it.” Despite the sarcasm, John really did appreciate Garrus coming along. The last couple of weeks had been rough. 

Being an Alliance Commander had its ups and downs, but nowhere in his military training manuals did they mention death threats. 

Two weeks ago Cenek Taylor, ex-Alliance, had stormed into the Alliance offices, wielding a Carnifex and an omni-blade, demanding to see Commander Shepard. He was struggling against the guards when Shepard walked into the lobby with narrowed eyes. 

“You’ll pay for this, Shepard,” he jeered, hands behind his back, stripped of his weapons. “The Alliance doesn’t pay me anymore, you know? Not after you let them give me a dishonorable discharge. After all my service, and I can’t even get enough credits from your lousy Alliance to live on.”

Shepard stepped up closer to Cenek, completely unconcerned by the dangerous front the ex-marine tried to put up. “As I remember, Taylor, you _left_ your watch post to go gamble away your precious credits. Eleven soldiers from _your own squad_ died that night while you were off playing cards,” Shepard spat his last words right in Cenek’s face. “Get him out of my sight,” he ordered, lip curling, and turned around without a second glance.

“This isn’t the last you’ll hear from me!” Cenek screamed after him. “I’ll find a way to make you pay. I’ll-” Those were the last words Shepard heard from Taylor as he was manhandled out the door by two guards. 

Taylor was sent to lock-up for his outburst, but apparently had some relative meet his bail just the next day. _Typical_ , Shepard thought to himself.

Eight days after the office fiasco, when Shepard had almost forgotten about the incident, Cenek showed up at the girl’s school. He was standing on the sidewalk outside when John came to pick them up. He didn’t say anything at the time, just stared John straight in the eye, gave him a slow smirk, and turned to leave. Shepard had stopped dead when he saw the man. How did he know where the girls went to school? What did he plan on doing now that he knew? What could he do if Shepard wasn’t around to stop him? 

Shepard seethed. He’d hunt that son of a bitch down, he’d have him arrested, he’d - but he couldn’t. Cenek hadn’t done anything illegal, strictly speaking, not yet.

Being an Alliance Commander had its ups and downs, and one of the downs meant that he couldn’t be with the girls all the time. He had meetings to attend and strategies to discuss and soldiers to train. He tried to be with them as much as he could, but he couldn’t just loiter around the school all day on the chance that he’d catch Taylor. No, he needed help. He needed someone to stay with the girls. He needed to hire a bodyguard.

“Let’s just cut right to the chase, shall we?” The booming voice of an auctioneer broke Shepard out of his memories. He’d slowed down his gait while lost in thought, and glanced up to see that he and Vakarian had come to a stop in front of an auction. An auction of biotics.

“Never did understand humans,” Garrus mused beside him, “one biotic goes batshit and murderous a hundred years ago, and you decide it’s better to collar them all instead of training them to control it? Every other race can handle their own biotics just fine. But here we are, in twenty-two fifty-seven, and they’re selling them like animals on the street.”

“Preaching to the choir, Garrus,” Shepard sighed. 

“I never understand your human slang, Shepard,” Garrus deadpanned, “but I’m sorry, I know I don’t need to explain it to you.” Garrus put a hand on John’s shoulder.

“Why do they even give them implants, anyway?” the turian seemed legitimately confused as he stared at the stage.

“Apparently getting free, forced labor from them seemed more appealing than letting the eezo exposure kill them slowly,” Shepard grit his teeth. They probably thought they were helping biotics by giving them implants. Some way to live.

Biotics were a tough subject around the Alliance. Some of the soldiers in the ranks even _were_ biotics, though they didn’t often have much choice in the matter. Shepard had always tried to treat them equally with the rest of his soldiers. He wished he knew they would receive the same treatment from their fellow marines when his back was turned.

He’d had conversations with Anderson about it. How they needed to push for biotic freedom with the human council, how they needed to have all their soldiers on equal footing. At least that was their angle for butting into governmental matters. Sure, there was unrest between the soldiers, but Shepard wanted the practice to end for much different reasons. However, a hundred years of history and enslavement, it seemed, was not all that easy to erase with one or two committee meetings.

“...not so bad on the eyes, either.” John heard the auctioneer say. He glanced up to the biotic currently up for bid as the crowd laughed. He was handsome, Shepard had to admit, but the black collar around his neck and the dark bruises under his eyes reminded Shepard that the biotic would probably rather be anywhere else. 

As the bidding started for the man, Shepard noticed a young boy standing next to the older biotic. As the price started to escalate, the young boy began to cry. John watched the oldier biotic, who kept glancing towards the boy beside him. He finally moved over to put a hand behind the boy’s neck and rest his forehead against his temple, murmuring words that Shepard couldn’t hear from a distance. John saw the auctioneer’s upper lip twitch at the display, but he continued to try to get more bids from the crowd.

“Shepard, didn’t you say you were going to be late?” Garrus questioned from beside him. Right. Interviews. John looked to his left where Garrus’ face was unreadable.

Shepard huffed out a sigh and smiled at his friend, before he glanced back to the biotic one more time. 

“It looks like he’s got a soft spot too, ladies,” the auctioneer tried to pass off the biotics’ embrace as yet another ploy for business. Shepard could see the auctioneer’s last bit of exasperation before he yanked on the front of the older biotic’s shirt, causing the younger boy to stumble without something to lean on. The taller biotic caught the boy with one arm and gently pushed him back into place before the auctioneer could reprimand him.

Shepard stared at the dark haired biotic on the stage. He was strong, that much Shepard could tell just by looking, no need for the auctioneer’s sales pitch. But he was gentle too, judging by the way he comforted the boy next to him. John had already interviewed so many soldiers as candidates to protect his children. Most of them either past alliance, or even that one mercenary who’d somehow wiggled his way into an interview. All of them seemed like excellent soldiers and servicemen, but he couldn’t imagine them interacting with his 3 year old on a daily basis.

Shepard continued to stare at the biotic. Strong. Gentle. Huh.

“Oh no,” Garrus drawled beside, holding out the ‘o’ in each word. “Shepard, please don’t tell me you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking.”

“Fine, then I won’t tell you,” Shepard shot back as he started to make his way toward the crowded stage.

“By the goddess...” Shepard heard Garrus mumble behind him. “Now I just sound like Liara,” the turian added after a short pause. The closeness of his voice told John that Garrus still decided to follow him, as per usual.

“One hundred and Forty-eight thousand credits,” was the current bid when Shepard walked up to the small crowd around the stage. “One forty-nine? One hundred and forty-nine thousand credits? Do I hear one hundred and forty-nine thousand credits?”

“A hundred and orty-nine thousand,” Shepard raised his voice to the auctioneer.

“Here we go,” Garrus muttered beside him.

“One forty-nine, thank you sir,” the auctioneer looked down at Shepard. “Do I hear one hundred and fifty thousand?”

“A hundred Fifty thousand,” a voice to Shepard’s right interjected. John looked over in the crowd to see an aging man in flashy clothes. He looked more like a pimp than a businessman. Shepard’s nostrils flared. Oh no you don’t.

“Let’s say one eighty and call it a day,” John called to the auctioneer, who’s eyes widened at the sudden jump in price. 

“Yes, my good sir, one hundred and eighty thousand it is, sold to the man in uniform.” He clapped his hands in front of him once, before grabbing the biotic by the arm and pushing him toward a step off the stage. Shepard stood there and stared at the dark haired biotic. Whom he just bought. Whom he now owned. Who could possibly hate Shepard just for that fact alone. Damn it, this seemed like such a good plan a few seconds ago.

He felt a few pats on the back from some crowd members, as if he’d done the hard work in this exchange, and glanced over to see the creep who was bidding against him send a glare his way before turning on a heel.

“You know Shepard, it’s a good thing you’re loaded. A hundred and eighty thousand credits?” Garrus chuckled beside him.

“Shut up, Garrus.” John shoulder checked him on the way over to hand his credit chit to the assistant by the stage.

“I’ll just need your fingerprints sir. You’ll be able to scan them to unlock the collar controls.” John surveyed the assistant’s bland expression, like she was completely unconcerned that she was handing the biotic’s life over to a stranger.

“Uh, sure.” He put his thumb up to the scanner on the table in front of her. She tapped a few buttons, probably sending the information wirelessly to the collar. “Can I add another fingerprint later?” He couldn’t be the only one with access to the controls.

“Yeah,” she handed his credit chit back to him along with a small booklet and some papers. “Just follow the instructions in the manual. I’ll need you to sign here and here,” she indicated to the correct blanks on the page.

John took the papers and glanced to the side as he heard footsteps come to a halt near him. The newly acquired biotic stood there with his arms at his sides, eyes towards the ground, not speaking. John noticed his jaw was clenched and his fingers kept flexing, like he was 2 seconds from either saying something or making a break for it.

Shit. Shepard hadn’t thought about this part. Introductions. What should he even say? _“Hello, I’m the man that just purchased you for good, nice to meet you?”_ God, this was such a bad idea. He finished signing the papers and handed them back to the woman. “Here’s your copy,” she said as she handed a receipt over to Shepard, and went back to busying herself with her omni-tool. 

“I’m Commander Shepard, systems Alliance. This is Garrus Vakarian.” John said as he turned to the biotic. He inwardly grimaced at his own rushed words, but trudged on. “What’s your name?” he tried to soften his tone from his brisk introduction.

To John’s surprise, the biotic actually looked up at him, glancing between Shepard and Garrus before settling back on John’s face. “Alenko,” He paused before continuing, “Kaidan Alenko,” he finished before setting his jaw once more. 

“Kaidan. It’s nice to meet you.” Shepard stuck out his hand, waiting for a handshake. Alenko looked down at it and back up like Shepard had lost his mind. The emotion passed on his face not a second later. He set his jaw for a third time and shook Shepard’s hand. 

Perfect. Progress.

“Garrus. It seems I need to go cancel some appointments. Would you mind taking Kaidan back to the house? I’ll meet you both there after I stop by the hotel to give them the update.” 

Garrus’ mandibles moved in a way that told Shepard he was striving not to laugh. Shepard attempted to keep his face impassive while trying to kill Garrus with just his eyes. He didn’t think it was working.

“Sure thing, Shep. Come on, Kaidan, let’s get out of here.” Garrus clapped Shepard on the back before he headed in the direction of their shuttle. Kaidan continued to stare at Shepard for a half a second before turning back to look at the stage, just as the younger biotic was sold. The buyer was a bored looking gentleman with a briefcase in hand, who seemed more interested in his omni-tool than the kid. _Good_ , John thought as he followed Alenko’s eyeline, _he probably just needed someone to take his calls and sort his papers._

Kaidan let out a long breath and glanced once more at Shepard before he put his head down and started to follow Garrus.

 _“Well,”_ John thought to himself as he watched him walk away, _“damn.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, true to my word, here are my few comments before we get started on this chapter.
> 
> The house is basically the same layout as the Citadel DLC apartment, with just a couple of tweaks. The master bedroom has moved from the second floor down to that first floor bedroom, making the 2nd floor far bedroom the "guest room." Then I'm adding another bedroom next to the bedroom on the other side of the 2nd floor (so another bedroom next to the one Tali can be found in from the DLC).
> 
> I think that's about it! I hope you enjoy!

Kaidan sat in the front seat of the Skycar next to the turian, Garrus, he remembered the alien’s name. 

He thought back to the man he’d just met. The man who just bought him. Not ten minutes after making his purchase and he was already gone. Alenko wondered how many biotics the man owned, how often he went to auctions like that one.

Kaidan’s mind was a whirl of questions. Where were they going? Why did that man purchase him? They were going to a house, that much he could remember. Why a house? Was he supposed to be a butler? A chauffeur? Or something worse. Kaidan tried not to think about that. His good looks were often used as a ploy to up his prices, but he had mercifully never been sold solely because of them. But there was always a first time for everything.

“Hey kid, I can practically see your thoughts from here. Shepard is a good man, so don’t worry about him. You’re in good hands now,” the turian glanced over to Kaidan from where he was operating the skycar. 

Of course it was nothing Kaidan hadn’t heard before. He remained silent in the passenger seat. Time would tell.

He could see the alien out of the corner of his eye. His mandibles kept moving on his face, like he was thinking of something to say, or maybe he was hungry. Kaidan didn’t have enough experience with turians to know. 

They continued to sit in silence for the rest of the ride. If the turian couldn’t think of something to say, well Kaidan didn’t feel like talking anyway.

Eighteen minutes later, according to the clock on the dashboard, the skycar hovered down to ground level and came to a stop next to a large house. Garrus opened his door and stepped onto the street outside. Kaidan followed his example and glanced around the neighborhood. Pricy looking houses were scattered around, a good deal of space between them. He breathed in the cool air. It was nice to be away from the tall buildings of downtown San Francisco.

The turian was already walking up the path to the front door, so Kaidan followed at a slower pace behind him. He watched the turian punch in a code before the door opened with a soft ‘swish.’ Interesting. Were the commander and the turian a couple? Alenko glanced up at the back of the alien in front of him. It wasn’t his place to ask.

“Home, sweet home,” the turian turned his head to look at Kaidan, mandibles twitching in what he thought might be a smile. Kaidan walked through the door into the entryway of the sleek house, all high ceilings and open floorplan. It was beautiful, he could admit. Not that he assumed he would be staying here. Maybe the commander had a seperate place to house the rest of his biotics.

“Back already?” Kaidan heard a female voice call from somewhere in the house. A woman with dark hair pulled up in a bun rounded the corner. “Um. Okay?” She stopped short when she saw Kaidan.

“Long story, Ash. This is Kaidan Alenko.” Garrus gestured to the human male standing next to him, “Kaidan, Ashley Williams.” 

Kaidan wondered who she was. Was this the commander’s spouse? Then who was the turian?

“Sorry. It’s, uh, nice to meet you, Kaidan.” Wiliams stared at the collar around his neck as she approached before she met his eyes and offered a hand to shake. Alenko shook the proffered hand quickly and gave a brief nod in her direction.

“Where’s Shepard?” The woman asked, turning her sharp brown eyes toward Garrus, still standing in the foyer of the house.

“He went to the hotel to cancel his interviews for the day,” Garrus replied, brushing by Ashley to move further into the house, “I guess I’ll save the story for when he gets back.” 

Kaidan watched as her eyebrows rose. Her eyes tracked Garrus as he moseyed over to a couch in the living room. She finally turned back to Kaidan. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Kaidan,” she repeated. “Come on in. Can I get you something to drink?”

Alenko blinked at her. Something to drink? Hadn’t she dealt with biotics before? Most people didn’t want to associate with human biotics. They tolerated them at most, but usually left them to their own devices. Of course he’d heard of the do-gooders that tried to help out his kind, but in Kaidan’s experience, the general feeling towards his station was anywhere from mild annoyance all the way down to the cruel treatment he and many other biotics had received.

“I- no thanks,” Kaidan replied after what he realized was too long of a pause. He glanced up to see both Garrus and Ashley staring at him.

“Uncle Garrus!” Happy shrieks saved them all from a potentially catastrophically awkward moment, as Kaidan glanced up to see three little girls looking down from the second floor railing above.

They looked like a blur as they flew down the stairs at the same time, their red hair bouncing with every step, trying to get to the Turian on the couch first.

“No, help, they’ve got me!” The alien fake yelled as he was tackled to the couch by his three attackers.

_“Uncle,”_ Kaidan turned the word over in his head. So. Not together with the commander. That left the woman.

“Uncle Garrus, we didn’t know you were coming over.” The tallest of the three girls stood on the floor in front of the couch while the other two snuggled up on either side of the turian. “We haven’t seen you in forever!” She drew out all the vowels in the last word, whining as she tugged on the turian’s hand.

“Yeah, how’d you phanagle your way out of teaching today?” Ashley inquired dryly from her place next to Kaidan.

“I’m adjunct, _Ashley_ , so I can do whatever I want,” the turian swung the tallest girl’s hand in his own, “and I just wanted to surprise you, Brynndoline,” he addressed the girl and gave her a nudge with his knuckles on her ribcage. She pushed his hand away, giggling, and at that moment looked up to see Kaidan still hovering by the doorway.

“Auntie Ashley, who is that?” she asked, looking between the two of them. So, Williams wasn’t with Shepard either. Kaidan was just going to stop trying to guess.

“This is Kaidan, Brynn. He’s a friend of your dad’s.” Kaidan felt a hand on his shoulder as Williams guided him closer to the couch. Two heads popped up from either side of Garrus to look at him over the couch back.

“I’m Everly, but you can call me Evy.” What Kaidan assumed was the middle child scrambled over the back of the couch to make her way towards Kaidan and offered him a toothy smile.

“Ev, don’t climb over the furniture,” he heard Ashley object next to him.

The other two girls approached him a little more timidly. “I’m Brynn,” he heard the tallest say, “and this is Abigail,” she gestured down to the smaller girl next to her, who looked no more than four, Kaidan thought.

“I’m Abby,” Alenko heard her say in a small voice. She tried to hide behind her sister’s leg and Kaidan’s heart melted just a little. 

“Hi, Abby,” he smiled softly at her. She peeked out from behind her sister a little more and gave him an answering tiny smile.

“I just finished lunch, girls, why don’t you get washed up and we can eat,” Williams declared from behind Kaidan. She walked toward the kitchen in his periphery. “Garrus, you hungry?” She addressed the Turian without turning around.

“You know I am,” Garrus responded, following her over to the kitchen island.

“Dextro burgers are hard to find, thank you very much,” she flicked his shoulder when he walked up to her, “so, you’re welcome.”

“My hero.” Kaidan didn’t have to know how to read turians very well to sense the sarcasm in Garrus’ voice.

The girls filed back into the kitchen and proceeded to start making their own burgers. Kaidan stood off to the side and watched. “What do you want on yours?” He heard Ashley ask Abby.

“Could you help me make my burger, Kaidan? Ashley says I’m not allowed to go near knives.” Kaidan glanced down to see Everly right in front of front of him, holding an empty plate.

“That’s right young lady,” Williams emphasized by pointing the mustard covered butter knife she was holding in their direction.

“Okay,” Kaidan took the plate and made his way over to the condiment covered island. “What should we start with?”

When he finished making Everly’s burger, Kaidan handed the plate back to her as she went to go sit at the table. He wiped his hands on the front of his pants and stared down at the food. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he could smell the cooked meat in front of him.

“Make yourself a plate, Kaidan.” Ashley smiled at him from across the island, where she was busy fixing her own burger.

For the third time that day, Alenko was thrown for a loop. They shook his hand, offered him a drink and now they were letting him eat lunch with them. Not to mention that they kept calling him by his first name. Who were these people?

He shrugged inwardly, figuring he might as well take advantage of their kindness while it was still offered and grabbed a plate for himself.

The six of them eventually all sat down to eat. Kaidan remained quiet, listening to the girls tell Garrus all about what they were learning in school that week. Apparently frogs came from tadpoles, just like Salarians, and the girls found them super freaky. Except for Everly, who thought they were beyond cool.

Kaidan heard the front door swish open and footsteps out in the hall. With his back toward the wall, he saw the commander turn the corner into the kitchen.

“All my favorite girls!” He exclaimed, walking up behind Abigail to kiss the top of her head. “Oh, you too, Garrus,” Shepard smirked over at his turian friend.

“Oh, ha, ha,” the alien snorted back.

Kaidan felt guilty all of a sudden for sitting here at the table, eating the food of his new- what? Master? Boss? Eating the commander’s food. He put down the last few bites of the burger he was holding, put his hands in his lap and stared at his plate as if it held the answers of how to deal with all of this newness.

“I think Garrus promised ice cream, if you girls behave yourselves,” Shepard announced to the table. Kaidan glanced up to see Garrus, Shepard and Ashley deep in a silent argument with their eyes. Garrus hadn’t actually promised that, he guessed, Shepard was just trying to get them out of the house.

“First one to the shuttle gets an extra scoop!” Ashley seemed to come to a decision after staring Shepard down for a few extra seconds. She got up from the table and raced toward the door.

“No fair, Aunt Ashley!” Kaidan heard one of the girls say. They noisily pushed back their chairs to stampede after her, Garrus pulled up the rear. “I’ll clean up the dishes when we get back,” he addressed Shepard on his way out.

Kaidan was still sitting at his place at the table when he heard to door close with one more swish. Now it was just Shepard and himself. Alone.

Kaidan clenched his hands in his lap, he couldn’t let his nerves get the best of him. Kaidan was strong, he’d made sure of that, and he could probably take Shepard if the other man tried anything. Then again, Shepard was a military commander. He probably had all sorts of muscles underneath that uniform. 

“I hope you got enough to eat,” Shepard said as he sat down at the table across from Kaidan. There was a short pause where Kaidan didn’t know if he should look at the commander or not.

“Look, I’m just going to say it. I’ve never- uh, I don’t have a lot of experience with auctions or any of that. Here’s the deal. Being a commander means I have enemies, and one of those enemies is psycho enough to not only threaten me, but to threaten my girls.” That last bit was enough to get Kaidan to look up and lock eyes with Shepard.

“I need someone to stay with them and watch out for them. I know you’re tough, but it looks like you’re pretty good with kids, too,” Shepard gave him a smile. 

Kaidan took a second to ponder the new information. So, security. That’s why the commander bought him. He relaxed slightly, not realizing how tense he’d been up to this point. Security was something he’d done before, although typically he was just guarding warehouses or buildings, not people. Especially not adorable little girls.

“You’ll need to accompany them to school. Ashley is usually around after school if I can’t get out of the office, but I guess if you’re here, she can have a bit of a break. I’ll try to give you some off hours, but I can’t promise the girls will leave you alone. They can be quite the talkers.” The fact that Shepard would willingly leave his girls with Kaidan by himself didn’t go unnoticed. His brain then snapped back to the comment about “off hours.” As if he was just a regular employee, not a collared biotic. Who was this guy? Alenko focused on Shepard’s face. He was quite attractive, Kaidan had to admit, and he seemed nicer than most of the biotic’s owners from the past. 

“I’ll make sure you get new clothes, and you’re always welcome to the food in the house. I’ll see if I can get a copy of a credit chit that you can use if you need. Of course, you can stay in the house. The guest room is upstairs. Evy and Abby share a room right now. They’re five and three. And Brynn has her own room, she’s about to turn eight. Abby goes to the daycare across from Brynn and Everly’s school. Don’t worry, Ashley or I will be there to walk you through it the first couple of days,” Shepard paused to let Kaidan absorb the information. 

The biotic couldn’t stop his eyes from widening as he learned about the freedom he would have. The commander sure was fast to trust a stranger, a biotic no less, with so much. Probably why he wanted to be there to ‘walk him through’ everything. More like watch his every move like a hawk. Still, Kaidan had never had freedom like this before. Most biotics were told what to do and when to do it their entire life. They didn’t get to make their own decisions. 

“I know you’re wondering, so before you ask about their mom, they’re not technically my daughters. They’re my twin sister’s kids. Jane and her husband died in a shuttle crash three years ago. They were going to visit Abby after she was held a few extra days in the NICU.”

Kaidan watched as Shepard looked down at his hands on the table and swallowed. He felt bad for the commander. Not only losing a sister, but gaining three girls, one of them a newborn, all in one day? It must have been hard.

“Anyway, they call me dad now. Only Brynn really remembers what happened, so I try to never bring it up around her,” Shepard looked back up at Kaidan, “do you have any questions?”

He had so many questions. Why are you being so nice? Is this just a front to make the job more appealing? How long would he be here, before he was sold again? Just until that psycho was caught? All Kaidan’s questions were tumbling around inside his head. He had half the nerve to actually ask them, but like most of his life, he was torn between standing up for himself and making himself as unnoticeable as possible. 

“Not right now,” was the answer he settled on.

“Alright, then,” Shepard stood up from his place at the table, “I’ll show you around the house and to your new room.” The commander started to head toward the stairs and Kaidan took that as his cue to follow. 

Well. He was about to start a new chapter of life. He rolled his shoulders back and lifted his chin. Here goes nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I just started my like 5th playthrough of the whole trilogy and I just _have a lot of feelings._ So here, have some more.
> 
> Also thank you for all your support so far, it means a lot to me!

Three weeks had passed since Kaidan had been living with them, John reflected from his place as he leaned against the second floor railing. He watched as his three girls pulled out every single stuffed animal they owned to explain their names, backstory and more personal anecdotes about a stuffed toy than Shepard ever thought possible, to Kaidan. Alenko just sat on the floor, his back to the couch, patient as ever, as if he really did care about the stuffed giraffe that Abby wielded in front of his face.

Kaidan spent his days at the school, making his rounds to check up on the girls, and always kept a watchful eye out for Taylor. Though John had promised him some time off in the evenings, most nights Kaidan usually spent his time entertaining the girls instead of going to his own room.

While John may have been wary of letting the biotic around his girls at first, a biotic whose character he had solely judged on about seven minutes of interaction with a scared kid at the auction, only a couple days into Kaidan’s new job was he was convinced he’d made the best decision for all of them. While Kaidan did not seem to trust adults easily, he got along with children magnificently. 

Of course, after their initial tour on that first day, Shepard had briefed Kaidan on the situation with Taylor. He had pulled up Cenek’s picture on his omni-tool, and the report for the restraining order filed against the crazy human. “Nobody has seen him since that day,” he explained after telling the story of the school incident, “but I would not be surprised if he tries something again. I can’t let that happen. We can’t let that happen.”

“Yes, sir,” Kaidan replied, still staring at the picture, most likely trying to memorize the face so he could never miss it.

“Call me Shepard, or John, Kaidan, you’re not one of my soldiers,” John responded.

“Yes si- Shepard,” Kaidan stumbled. His eyes flicked up to Shepard’s face before moving back to the omni-tool, his face flushed red. Shepard wasn’t sure if from embarrassment or fear that he would be reprimanded for taking such a liberty.

“Good,” Shepard pressed on, ignoring Kaidan’s stumble, “have you ever done security before? Shot a pistol?” he questioned the biotic. No matter how many muscles he had, if he didn’t know how to use them, there might be a problem.

“Yes,” the biotic replied, “and yes. I’ve done both. I can do both,” he added.

Shepard breathed an inward sigh of relief. Maybe this really would work out.

Ever since Kaidan’s first day, the biotic and Shepard’s girls had gotten along like a house on fire. The girls thought he was the greatest thing that happened to them since they moved from the Citadel back down to earth. Things they always used to ask John to do for them, they would now ask Kaidan to do. Brush their varying shades of beautiful red hair, read them a story before bedtime. Shepard felt like he would be jealous if it weren’t so damn adorable. 

“He’s a bat, and he can fly!” Evy exclaimed from the little circle of animals they’d made in front of the couch, throwing her stuffed bat up in Shepard’s direction. It flew up and hit the railing, falling back down to the tile floor with a soft thud. Kaidan’s eyes followed the toy up and landed on John. The biotic held his gaze for no more than a second before he lowered his eyes back down to Everly. Though he’d settled in nicely with the girls, Kaidan still didn’t seem used to Shepard’s presence. John wasn’t sure if it was because Alenko was scared of him, or something else. He hoped the biotic would learn to trust him eventually.

“Alright girls, time for bed,” Shepard announced from his perch. “We need to put this menagerie away first,” he added, starting to walk down the stairs.

“What’s a menagerie, daddy?” Brynn asked, clutching her favorite pyjak plushie to her chest.

“It’s kind of like a zoo, Brynndoline.” She smiled at the nickname and proceeded to pick up more of her animals.

John walked over to the mound of animals and grabbed an armful to take upstairs just as Kaidan reached down to do the same. Their hands brushed under the faux fur of the pile and Shepard could hear Kaidan swallow. “Sorry,” the biotic practically whispered. He jerked his hand away and moved his grip to grab some different toys. John pursed his lips and said nothing. How was he ever going to get Alenko to relax around him?

Once the girls had gathered the last of their crew, they made their way upstairs to the their bedrooms, located right next to each other.

“Story, Kaidy!” Abby exclaimed after they’d put away their toys, brushed their teeth, and changed into pajamas.

“Yes, story!” Everly added, she ran to jump under her covers, and pulled them up to her chin, awaiting eagerly. 

Shepard just smiled from his place in the doorway as Kaidan glanced his way, as if he was expecting them to finally ask their father for a story instead of himself. John made a gesture that Kaidan should continue, so the biotic grabbed the book they had been reading the night before. “Only one chapter tonight, girls, school day tomorrow.” His statement was followed by much groaning and gnashing of teeth. Only when Kaidan mentioned school did Shepard remember it was Sunday. Work tomorrow. Meetings. Ugh.

Shepard felt a little body squeeze its way into the space between his hip and the doorframe as Brynn cuddled up to his side to stand and listen to the story too. He smiled lovingly down at her and ran a hand through her hair before settling it around her waist, hugging her close to him.

He looked back up to see Kaidan sitting on the edge of Abby’s bed, lost in his narration. He really was beautiful in the low light of the girl’s bedroom, their princess lamp casting a soft pink glow around the whole room.

_”No way, don’t start thinking like that, Shepard,”_ he told himself. He could never have a relationship with a biotic. Could he? Not that he thought Kaidan was any less of a person because of his status, but the two classes forming romantic relationships was practically unheard of, especially not for a decorated military commander.

Still, he looked back at Kaidan’s face, his forehead creased in concentration, and couldn’t help but stare. Alenko was strong, brave, gentle. He loved the girls and felt like part of the family, even after a few short weeks. Shepard probably wouldn’t be able to find many better than the dark haired man sitting a few feet away. If only Kaidan could stand to be alone in Shepard’s presence for more than a few minutes at a time.

Kaidan wrapped up the chapter and received a loud “aaww” from both girls sitting in their beds.

“I know, I know. More tomorrow,” he promised, pulling up the covers first for Abby, then Everly. He started to make his way towards the door and seemed to realize that John was still standing there.

“I’ll uh, help Brynn get ready for bed.” His eyes kept darting from Shepard’s face to the hallway past his shoulder. 

“I can do it myself!” Brynn grinned and took off towards her own room, leaving Kaidan standing in front of Shepard, who had yet to shift his weight from his lean against the doorframe. He knew he taught that girl well.

“Thanks, Kaidan,” John said quietly. It seemed like he didn’t thank Kaidan enough these days. He was practically helping raise Shepard’s kids, for goodness sake. “Let’s talk about tomorrow,” John gestured his head toward the empty hall behind him. He moved to the side to let Kaidan pass through the door beside him. Shepard could feel the heat radiating off of the biotic as he shuffled past, looking more like he’d just been issued the death penalty than preparing for a quick prep for the next day.

“Goodnight, girls, I love you,” John moved into the room to give them each a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, daddy!” Their voices answered back before he shut their door. Shepard did the same for Brynn in her own room before he walked into the hall to find Kaidan.

The biotic was standing in the dark hall, eyes on the ground, holding his right bicep in his left hand. For some reason John noticed the collar around his neck more prominently now, looking at his profile. Shepard tended to forget it was even there. Kaidan had taken to wearing some of the extra Alliance fatigues Shepard had accumulated over the years, the high collars hiding most of the high-tech biotic collar. But tonight he had a simple t-shirt, the lower neckline doing nothing to hide to stark reminder that Kaidan did, in fact, belong to him. John felt sick at the thought.

He shook himself out of that line of thinking and took a step closer to Kaidan. “Taylor was spotted on a security cam downtown a few hours ago,” Shepard kept his voice low so the girls wouldn’t overhear, “it’s the first we’ve seen of him in a while. So just be on alert.”

“Of course s-Shepard.” Kaidan had gotten a lot better at calling John by his name, though he still sometimes stumbled over avoiding 'sir'. He seemed to relax after John’s statement. What did he think this conversation was going to be about? Shepard eyed the collar again. 

“I have meetings scheduled until late tomorrow evening. Think you’ll survive without me?” John joked to lighten his own mood. To his surprise, it earned him a small smile from Kaidan.

“I think I can survive a few hours without you.” The biotic was looking at Shepard’s chest when he made the comment, but the corner of his mouth tilted up just a little more.

Did he? Did he just? Flirt? With Shepard?

Shepard had to remind himself to laugh at the joke. Like his breath hadn’t just caught that he and Kaidan were _bantering._

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he finally added. Wow. Smooth, John. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening, then. Goodnight, Kaidan.” He raised a hand to clasp Kaidan on the shoulder in a quick motion. The biotic tensed slightly under his grip before relaxing again.

“Good night, Shepard,” came Kaidan’s quiet reply. The biotic finally glanced up at John’s eyes before he made his way to the guest room, now Kaidan’s room, Shepard thought. John could hear the quiet swish of the door as it closed.

Shepard stood there staring at the now empty hallway for another moment before making his way downstairs to the master bedroom. Man, oh man, was he in trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the only note I really have is that this takes place in the... bar room? I don't really know what to call it, the room with the bar in the Citadel apartment (now their house). I know there's not really a coffee table in that room, so I added one in front of the couch because where else are you supposed to put your popcorn for movies??
> 
> On another note, I sort of view Kaidan's past as similar to something like Black Beauty (I can't believe I just compared him to a horse, omg). He's had some nice owners in the past, or at least civil owners, and then some downright awful ones. Let's just say he doesn't like to talk about it.

True to his word, Shepard was out for most of the evening that Monday, and for many of the nights following. Ashley and Garrus dropped by the house on separate occasions that week to check in on the girls. Ashley brought a vid over for the girls to watch and Garrus decided it would be a good idea to wrestle all three of them at once. They’d only had a few short interactions, but Kaidan felt like he was starting to get used to the two of them. They didn’t treat him like he was a biotic, that he was a lesser person because of the collar on his neck. They treated him like anyone else, just like Shepard did.

Kaidan’s thoughts drifted back to the commander, realizing it was getting late and he still hadn’t made it back from work. For the past week, Shepard had come back from work each day looking exhausted. Kaidan could only imagine what he had to deal with all day. Angry politicians, rules and regulations. Part of Kaidan wanted to talk to him about it, see if there was anything he could do to help. Which, now that he thought about it, Kaidan didn’t think he’d had the urge to help any of his past owners. _Ever._

Shepard never seemed like much of an owner to him, though. He never once lorded any power over Kaidan. Never once made Kaidan call him sir or master like some of the others had. Kaidan remained wary of him though. In his heart he was happy with his new life, but in his head he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe that’s why he wouldn’t let himself get too close to Shepard. He didn’t want to start trusting the man, only to have the commander realize he could treat Kaidan like everyone else treated biotics.

The biotic looked over from where he was seated at the bar to where the girls were setting up all kinds of bright makeup and hair supplies. They’d been at the task since dinner ended. Cooking was something Kaidan knew he was good at, having to make most of his own meals growing up, shifting around from place, auction to auction. After the girls had gobbled up the casserole he made, Abby declared that she was going to give them all makeovers. Now Kaidan believed she wasn’t kidding, judging by the amount of play makeup that had accumulated on the coffee table in front of the couch across from his seat at the bar.

“Kaidy first!” Abby exclaimed, she picked up a hairbrush and turned a maniacal grin on Kaidan. The biotic let out a huff before getting up to make his way over to the couch. Whatever was about to happen to him, it was probably going to be humiliating. He was glad Shepard was still at work.

Abby took her place behind him on the couch and started to brush through his hair. It didn’t have the same effect as she probably wanted, with his own cropped much shorter than theirs, but he had to admit, it did feel good. He could hear the soft ‘tink, tink’ as the bristles hit the collar sitting at the base of his skull. God, he hated that thing.

“It’s in the way,” Abigail complained as she poked at the black collar. 

“Sorry, Abby,” was the only response Kaidan could give her. In the way was an understatement. Sixteen years in the way.

“Maybe we can take it off,” Brynn mused as she walked up to Kaidan, staring at the collar like she could will it away with just a look.

Take it off? Kaidan doubted it. He’d had this collar on since he was thirteen years old. While technically owners were allowed to remove the collars from their own biotics in private establishments, they rarely did, too afraid of another horrific incident where a biotic went crazy with power. Even more than that, taking off a collar in public was a definite no-go. Kaidan had heard that owners could receive a hefty fine if it ever happened, or the biotic could be “repossessed,” as any such an owner was obviously not concerned with the safety of others. Kaidan had never met or seen another biotic without a collar as far back as he could remember.

Brynn continued to fiddle with buttons along the side of the carbon fiber ring. She was pretty smart for her age, but he didn’t think she even had access on the fingerprint scanner. Abby had moved to sit in front of him, giving Brynn more room, and continued to brush his hair. Even at the strange angle, Kaidan started to zone out at the soothing feeling. He had just closed his eyes when he heard a loud ‘click’ and the collar sprang open enough to bend the small hinge.

Kaidan’s eyes flew open. He was frozen in his spot as a combination of terror and elation overwhelmed him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.

“Yay!” Abby exclaimed, probably excited that it would finally be out of her way. She had no idea the crisis that was going on right in front of her.

Kaidan tried not to overreact in front of the girls. His collar was open. _His collar was open._ How did Brynn even have access? Had Shepard added her fingerprint? He tried to take deep breaths, his hands suddenly shaking, his pulse beating in his neck, this time for an entirely different reason than the sinking feeling he always got on the auction block. Oh no, this time he felt like he could breathe for the first time in sixteen years. Like he’d been underwater this whole time and he'd finally broken through the surface.

He could feel his biotics flaring all around him. Even without an amp plugged in to his amp port, if he tried hard enough, he could probably cast a barrier. 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Not with the girls sitting right there. What if something went wrong? What if he hurt them? Kaidan blinked away his sudden emotion at the thought. How could he hurt these beautiful girls?

If only he was alone in his own room, maybe, just maybe he would try. But not now. He felt Brynn tug the collar from around his neck, and turned to see it resting in her small hands. Sixteen years he’d had that thing on, only taking it off to have it replaced when he outgrew the previous collar. He wanted to burn it. He wanted it gone. But he knew that he’d have to put it back on again soon. For now, this beautiful, elated feeling was enough to keep those thoughts at bay.

Brynn walked toward the bar and placed the collar on top of it, running back over to him like it held little significance at all. 

“Hehe, you have a white line on your neck, Kaidan,” Everly spoke up next to him, poking his neck as she giggled. Kaidan swallowed and reached up to run his own hand along the smooth line of his neck. He probably had the worst tan line ever. He didn’t care.

“It does look funny,” Abby said from her place in front of him. She brought the brush back up for a few more strokes, than let out out a huff. “Kaidy’s hair isn’t long enough,” the biotic heard Abby complain. “Your turn, Brynn!” She scooted over on the couch to gain access to her sister’s shoulder length auburn hair.

Everly took over the vacated seat behind Kaidan, picking up another hair brush. “I want to brush Kaidan’s hair!” she exclaimed, not waiting for his response before she started brushing. 

Kaidan felt himself start to relax at the sensation, his heavy breathing finally under control. He felt amazing. He couldn’t remember feeling this good, this _free_ in a long time. Kaidan closed his eyes as Everly continued to run the brush through his hair, the bristles running over the newly exposed skin on his neck. Now all he wanted was to sit there and enjoy himself, just for a little while.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday, y'all, that means I have some time to write! We'll see if I can get a few chapters done this weekend.

John sat in the driver’s seat as he piloted his skycar in silence. He just wanted to be home. It had been a long day. Keeping up peace treaties with other alien species could be taxing, especially so with Elcor. If Shepard had to hear one more ridiculous adverb, he might sprain something in his attempt to remain diplomatic.

It had been a slow, nerve-grinding day and John was on edge in a way that was rare for him. Maybe seeing the girls would cheer him up. Well, the girls, and Kaidan. The thought of them turned his scowl into something more like just a frown. It really had been a long day.

Shepard finally pulled up to the house, noting the lights were still on. Good, he’d made it in time to see the girls before they went to bed. He keyed in the code for the door, turning to double check the lock after it swished closed. He could hear the girls giggling with each other in the other room. John tried to relax his shoulders and school his expression a bit before making his way over to them.

The first thing he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. Kaidan’s collar was lying, open, on the bar.

Oh no. John’s heart seemed to skip a beat at the sight. Did he-

The sound of his abrupt halt must have alerted them of his presence, as all three girls exclaimed varying pitches of “Daddy!” and ran to hug him at the same time. Shepard lifted his arms around them in somewhat of a daze, slowly moving his gaze from the collar to Kaidan, who he was relieved to see was sitting on the couch. John took in the smooth lines of his bare neck as Kaidan seemed to pale by a few shades at the sight of the commander.

The biotic stood up quickly, staring straight at Shepard with widening eyes. His jaw clenched and Shepard thought back to the first time they met, when Kaidan looked like he was about to bolt.

“Brynn, did you take off Kaidan’s collar?” He asked his daughter in a more clipped tone than he had planned, never breaking eye contact with Kaidan.

“Yes, daddy, it was in the way of our makeover!” She looked up at him from where his arm was still around her.

“Brynn,” John let go of the other girls to put both of his hands on her shoulders, finally looking away from Kaidan, “we talked about this, I gave you access in case of emergencies and you have to ask me first. Do _not_ do that again.” John kept his voice firm. Shepard’s kids were typically very well behaved, but when he gave them that specific tone, they knew the were in trouble. He felt all three of them sober around him.

“I’m sorry daddy. I won’t do it again.” Brynn’s eyes started to water as she looked away from his face. Part of him felt bad for speaking so harshly, but he knew this wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

“Brynn, I’m not- I was just scared,” Shepard tried a slightly gentler tone as he kneeled down in front of her. “Taking off that collar can be dangerous.” In his peripheral vision, Shepard saw Kaidan flinch like he’d been physically hit. Shepard ground his teeth together. This was not how he wanted this conversation to go. “If Kaidan went outside without his collar, bad things could happen to him. He could be taken away from us, Brynn. Bad people could try to hurt him,” Shepard tried to placate Brynn and Kaidan’s fears at the same time.

Brynn’s eyes started to water even more at this revelation. At least she now understood the gravity of the situation.

“I’m sorry, Kaidan,” Brynn started to full on cry as she ran to wrap her arms around the biotic’s waist. “I didn’t know, I don’t want you to get hurt!” She sobbed into his stomach.

John watched Kaidan from his crouch on the floor. The biotic’s face still looked like he was standing at the gallows, but he leaned over to give Brynn a hug. 

Shepard looked over at Abby and Everly who were standing nearby, their faces crumpled like they were about to cry too, even if they weren’t the ones to receive a scolding. 

“It’s okay, girls,” he comforted them, “Kaidan’s okay, everything’s okay.”

They both nodded at him, Abby wiping her eyes with her spare hand that wasn’t still holding a hairbrush.

“Now, go give Kaidan a hug and get ready for bed. I’ll come tuck you in in a little while.” He reached out to place a hand on each of their arms, running his fingers down them to hold their little palms in his own. He gave them a squeeze and then moved their hands in Kaidan’s direction. 

They followed the gesture and moved to give Kaidan a hug once Brynn had finally let go. After they had each hugged the biotic, sniffling into his shirt, all three of them walked in silence towards the stairs. John stood up to kiss Brynn on the head as she walked by him and wiped the remains of her tears from her eyes. He watched them somberly walk up the stairs and out of sight towards their rooms, and glanced back down at the collar lying to the left of him on the bar. He carefully picked up the collar and stared at it before moving his eyes back to the biotic who was still standing there, still as a statue. A long day indeed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, y'all I'm on a roll now, we'll see if I can get another chapter in today. ;)

Kaidan remained frozen in his spot after the girls left his embrace so they could trudge up the stairs. A horrible sinking feeling started working its way up from his stomach to his chest. Here he was, without his collar, and Shepard was angry. This was his fault, somehow, he knew it. He shouldn’t have let Brynn even try. What was Shepard going to do now? Punish him? Beat him like some of his past owners had done? Sell him to get someone else to protect the girls? Someone who didn’t have the complication of a collar around their neck?

Kaidan knew his panic must be written all over his face, to say nothing of his heavy breathing, by the way Shepard turned and slowly approached him. Kaidan stared resolutely at the floor behind Shepard, trying not to come up with any more scenarios as to how this conversation was about to unfold.

“Hey,” Shepard said softly, as he stopped about a pace away.

The quiet word made Kaidan’s eyes snap back to Shepard’s face. Of all the things he could have imagined, frenzied yelling, an icy quiet tone, or even worse than that, Shepard physically hurting him, the gentle rumble of Shepard just a few feet away from him was the last thing he expected right now.

They stood there, just staring at each other as the seconds ticked by. Kaidan tried to read the commander’s face for any sign of what was coming next.

“Kaidan...” Shepard started before he let out a long sigh. He paused, glancing down to Kaidan’s neck. “Maybe you should sit down,” he finished and looked back up to Kaidan’s eyes, his brows drew together in what might even be concern. 

It wasn’t much of an order, but Kaidan followed the suggestion anyway, sitting down on the couch, making sure to stay toward the front of the seat, body tense.

He heard Shepard let out another sigh above him before the commander pushed some of the makeup out of the way and sat down on the coffee table, facing Kaidan.

“Kaidan,” he tried again. “I- I don’t really know what to say. I’m sorry for my…” he seemed to be searching for the words, “my outburst. I didn’t- I don’t want you to think that I consider you as dangerous. I trust you.” The thought made Kaidan glance up from where he had been staring at the floor to somewhere around Shepard’s knee.

“But if-” he huffed in frustration, “if Brynn had done that anywhere else...if she’d done it in the shuttle, or around the school…” He trailed off again and Kaidan took a second to glance up to his face.

“I’m not upset with you, which I know you’re worried about.” Kaidan snapped his eyes back down as soon as Shepard tried to make eye contact. It felt strange that Shepard was so in tune with his emotions. “I'm just- I was scared. All kinds of scenarios went through my head when I saw this,” he moved the collar in his hands, “most of them ending with you being taken away. I don’t know what I would do, what the girls would do, if that happened. They’re pretty attached to you, you know?”

Kaidan didn’t know what to do with all of Shepard’s words. He had been preparing to try and make excuses that it was his fault, to try and talk Shepard out of any potential anger by apologizing. But here the commander was, apologizing to Kaidan, not the other way around. The biotic was unprepared for this whole scenario and didn’t even know how to react.

“I also thought for a second that you might have up and left,” Shepard scoffed a little at his own words, leaning back slightly from his position on the table.

Left? Leaving hadn’t even been an idea that had crossed Kaidan’s mind. When he thought about it, he realized that he could have. Who would have stopped him? The girls? He could easily overpower all three of them. But he didn’t want to leave. He had felt so serene, listening to their laughter, a hairbrush running through his short hair. The last month had honestly been one of the best in his life. And he could never hurt his girls. He turned his head in the direction of the stairs, where they had been just minutes ago. His girls. He really had grown to love them over the past month. 

The biotic finally realized that it had been silent for too long. He closed his eyes to center himself, before moving his focus back to Shepard, who looked to be anxiously waiting for any kind of response.

“I-” Kaidan still didn’t know what he was going to say, “I wouldn’t just leave them alone.”

At that simple statement, the commander let out a breathy laugh and wiped a hand over his brow. He moved his hand down to cover his eyes while he laughed some more, then removed it to look over at Kaidan.

“You’re- I- I really am sorry, Kaidan. I don’t want you to ever think that I…” he trailed off as he looked down and seemed to realize the collar was still in his hands, sitting open. Shepard raised his arms up just slightly, not taking his eyes off the black ring. 

_“This is it,”_ Kaidan thought. His last few moments before Shepard put his collar back on and he was plunged back into deep water. Kaidan heard a ‘click’, louder than he thought it would be, when the collar snapped closed.

He looked down to see it still resting between Shepard’s long fingers.

“You know I’ll have to put this back on before school tomorrow.” John looked at Kaidan with sympathetic eyes. Kaidan nodded automatically in response, his eyes still locked on the collar. Shepard was going to let him keep it off? All night? Kaidan could actually feel moisture starting to well up in his eyes. He quickly looked away before Shepard could see it. He folded his still shaking hands in his lap, not sure if his emotions could take anymore turns. Was this really happening?

The commander set the collar down next to him on the table, but didn’t get up from his position. 

“Have you, um, have you ever used your biotics before?” John asked softly.

Kaidan reeled back in his seated position on the couch. Never had he ever imagined that someone would ask him that, much less the person that purchased him no more than a month ago. People didn’t talk about humans using biotics. It was too dangerous. It was too revolutionary. Human biotics could never learn to use their powers, it would be too much for them to handle. Everyone knew that. Or at least that’s what they told themselves.

Kaidan considered how to answer Shepard’s question. It couldn’t be a trap, at least he didn’t think so. Shepard would never be so cruel as to give him this much hope, only to take it away again.

“Yes,” Kaidan said, even more softly than Shepard, “a very long time ago.”

The commander didn’t say anything or attempt to move anywhere after the admission. Kaidan had never really told anyone about his past. He’d never been in one place long enough to make friends to tell. Could he tell Shepard? The man had showed him nothing but kindness since his arrival.

“When I was ten years old, I found out that I had powers.” Kaidan swallowed, remembering back to that day. “I had already been fitted with L2 implants. I was exposed to eezo when my mom was pregnant. The doctor’s made the decision to give me an implant, even if my powers never manifested. They told my parents that it would most likely never happen. After I turned ten, I got so mad one day, I don’t even remember why, I biotically pushed a whole stack of hay barrels,” Kaidan shifted in his seat at the memory.

“My parents were supposed to turn me in. They didn’t. We lived in Canada, on a farm, so we didn’t have neighbors for miles. My parents somehow found an asari who was willing to help me learn how to control my biotics. I got pretty good at it.” Kaidan risked a glance up Shepard, who was listening intently, a neutral expression on his face.

“She said I was a natural, that my L2’s must make me pretty powerful. My parents were so proud of me. Then one day, five men in suits showed up at our door. Sometimes in my dreams I still hear my mom’s screams from when they took me away.” Kaidan didn’t even try to stop his eyes from watering this time. “I haven’t seen them since then. I was thirteen. That was sixteen years ago.”

He stopped there and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. It felt good to finally tell someone, after almost two decades of keeping it bottled up inside. Tears kept flowing from his eyes as he thought about how long it had been.

“I, uh-” Kaidan continued on so he wouldn’t have to listen to the silence, or worse, look up to see the potential pity on Shepard’s face. “I was sold not long after that, to a weapons manufacturer. I worked the assembly line and stayed with all the other biotics in our barracks. Apparently the bosses didn’t like me giving them a piece of my mind every time I was told what to do, so they sold me after a couple of months. I tend to get the same reaction from most buyers. I’ve worked in security, on farms, construction sites...they all got tired of me eventually.”

“I can’t imagine why,” he heard Shepard say, surprised that the comment came without any sarcasm at all. “I haven’t heard you give _me_ a piece of your mind yet,” the commander joked with a laugh in his voice.

Kaidan felt his brows draw together at the statement. Huh. He really hadn’t. He’d thought about mouthing off to Shepard, in the beginning, but rather, he usually found himself too surprised by the commander’s kind behavior to say anything. Shepard was the one exception from his many past owners, and Kaidan thought he might actually try to stick around a little longer this time. Alenko looked at the commander’s handsome face. He had come to like Shepard. And the girls, of course.

“Don’t give me any ideas,” Kaidan responded with a small smirk. To be honest, even that level of sarcasm made a tiny ball of anxiety start in his stomach. What if one day he went too far and Shepard decided he really didn’t appreciate Kaidan snarking back? _“Best keep your distance,”_ his brain told him. But the commander just laughed at his comment. Kaidan tried to shove the anxious feeling away.

“Thanks for telling me, Kaidan. I know it must have been hard.” Kaidan barely contained a jump as he felt Shepard’s hand settle on his knee. The biotic just nodded back in response, not sure he could use his voice right now. He felt Shepard’s thumb brush back and forth once, twice, over his knee before the commander stood up, taking the collar with him. Kaidan let out a silent breath that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.

“It’s getting late, we should go say goodnight to the girls,” Shepard told him, moving slightly out of the way so Kaidan could stand up. “I have another long day of meetings tomorrow.” Kaidan could see the commander deflating a little, like all his energy had suddenly left him. At a loss for words again, Alenko just nodded, looking down at the collar in Shepard’s hands.

“Alright,” Shepard added after a surprisingly comfortable silence, “bedtime.” Shepard turned to walk toward the stairs and after a moment, Kaidan followed him. He was glad he finally decided to open up to someone. He thought about Shepard’s hand on his knee. It felt nice to be comforted. It felt nice coming from Shepard. Kaidan was suddenly glad the commander was in front of him so he couldn’t see the blush starting to grow on the biotic’s face. 

_“Don’t get attached,”_ his traitorous brain supplied. He really shouldn’t. There was no way Shepard would even look twice at Kaidan in any sort of romantic way. How could he? Kaidan was just a biotic the commander had bought on the street. Sure, Kaidan was good at his job, and sure, he had just told Shepard about his past. But their relationship stopped there. Kaidan resolved to try keep his distance, just like before. This could never happen. They could never happen. As they walked to Evy and Abby’s door, he watched as Shepard knelt down next to one of the beds where all three girls were snuggled together, fast asleep. Keeping his distance felt harder with each passing second.

Kaidan barely held in a sigh, gazing at Shepard, who looked at his girls with so much love. No, he told himself one more time, _it could never happen._


	8. Chapter 8

John Shepard was beyond glad that his three weeks of treaty talks were finally over. He’d been staying late at the embassy in the evenings and going in for long stints on the weekends, but things had gradually started to wind back down to the commander’s normal working hours.

It was Saturday, thank god, and he was going to take the girls out to see a new princess vid that had just been released. He wanted to spend time with them, of course, but he also wanted to give Kaidan some time alone. No matter how many times John told him he could have some time to himself, Kaidan chose to spend all his waking hours with the girls. Not that John minded. He loved having Kaidan around, a little too much, but Kaidan had started looking more and more drained as the weeks went on, and the commander knew it was time to force him to take a break.

He’d promised him the night off and let the girls know that they were going to see the vid downtown. He checked his dresser to make sure he had everything - wallet, check, keyfob, check - when he stopped to stare at Kaidan’s collar, lying on top of his dresser. After the first time Kaidan had his collar off, Brynn had timidly asked her father if she could take it off again while she helped him wash dishes the next night. After a short consideration, he nodded her an affirmative and she ran over to where Kaidan was currently on the floor with Abby, and put her finger up to the scanner. Kaidan was so ingrained in his conversation with Everly, who sat behind on the couch, now obsessed with brushing his hair, that he startled when it opened with a ‘click’. 

John remembered the biotic looking from the collar to Brynn and then slowly over to Shepard, like he was about to be punished for something he didn’t even do. Instead of saying anything, John just went back to washing dishes in the sink.

He’d had his collar off practically every night after that, but this was the first time he’d be at the house, by himself, with no collar. Not that John was worried Kaidan would hurt someone, or set the house on fire or anything. He was just scared Kaidan would take the opportunity and leave. A small part of him was tempted to put the collar back on, just to make sure that he could be tracked down if that did happen, but he quickly shook himself of that ridiculous notion. He wanted to Kaidan to trust him, so maybe he had to trust Kaidan a little first.

He walked out to the entryway as the girls said their goodbyes to their favorite bodyguard and he shuffled them out the door. “Night, Kaidan!” he threw over his shoulder on the way to the skycar.

The girls were thrilled with the movie, of course, and couldn’t stop talking about how much they loved the princess and her little animal sidekick.

They ended up at a diner, after Everly melodramatically let her dad know that she was _starving_ after they left the cinema. John looked up from his menu to Brynn and Everly, who were seated across from him. They were swinging their feet under the table since they couldn’t reach the floor and Shepard could hear an occasional soft ‘thud’ as a shoe made contact with the booth from too much momentum. He glanced around the diner, taking in every other person that he could see from this angle, the idea that Cenek could show up always at the back of his mind.

Cenek Taylor was still in the city, as far as they knew. He’d been picked up on security cams not far from the Alliance offices again, but never tried to repeat his original performance in the lobby. Sometimes John thought he was just paranoid about the whole situation, but then he’d remember that slow smirk that Taylor gave him outside the school and he was so grateful that Kaidan was with them now to be on the lookout.

Abby and Brynn were happily babbling about their favorite parts from the movie when Everly spoke up from across the table, “I want a milkshake, daddy!” 

“Me too, me too!” Abby bounced in the booth next to him.

“You have to eat some real food first girls, but then maybe you can _split_ a milkshake.” This seemed to appease them enough and they continued to browse the menu.

After their food was ordered, served and gobbled down and after all milkshakes had been consumed, John made sure they had their jackets on to go out in the now chilly fall air before they made their way to the shuttle.

Once in the skycar, buckled in and headed home, the girls started to discuss the movie again.

“I’m the princess!” Abby declared from her carseat.

“No, Abby, I wanted to be the princess,” Everly whined, John could see her lower lip sticking out in his rear-view mirror.

“We can all be princesses,” Brynn announced diplomatically from the front seat. She really was a good older sister, always looking out for Abby and Ev.

“Yes, we’re all princesses!” they both announced from the backseat. “Kaidy can be a princess too!” Abby exclaimed.

John let out a quiet snort of laughter at the thought. 

“Yes, Kaidy can be like us, we gave him a makeover and everything!” Shepard could hear the absolute glee in Everly’s voice.

“Daddy is a princess too?” Abby questioned, looking over to Everly.

“No silly, daddy isn’t a princess. Daddy is the prince.” Everly leaned forward in her seat to put her small hands around the headrest onto her dad’s neck and give him a couple pats.

“Yes, the prince, the prince!” Abby clapped her hands in front of her in joy, “Kaidy and daddy can get married, like in the movie!”

“Yeeesss!” Everly and Brynn said in unison, then burst out giggling at their jinx.

John suddenly wasn’t laughing anymore. Thinking about marriage and Kaidan in the same sentence was not somewhere his mind needed to go. Ever.

But now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He thought about Kaidan’s handsome face, his soft smile, his dark, luscious hair, his strong hands...no. Absolutely not, he couldn’t keep thinking like this. Although Kaidan seemed to be getting used to his presence after he had opened up to Shepard a few weeks ago, the biotic tended to use the girls as a buffer, still uncomfortable in John’s vicinity alone.

John pursed his lips. He wanted to get to know Kaidan more, but he didn’t want to scare him off. God, when did his life get so complicated?

He tried to stop stewing about it as the girls switched topics over to how winter break was fast approaching as they neared the end of November.

After a short ride they pulled up to the house and the girls shot out of the shuttle almost the instant it came to a stop. John shook his head in amusement and followed them up the front path at a slower pace. They were already up the stairs by the time he’d made it through the door. 

“Kaidy, Kaidy!” He heard Abby’s voice echoing from upstairs as she opened the door to Kaidan’s room and ran in, followed by her two sisters. Shit. He promised Kaidan he’d have the day off, and he told the girls to leave him alone for the night. Obviously they were much too excited about the new vid to care about Kaidan’s personal boundaries.

Well, there was nothing to do now but try and pull them away and leave Kaidan be. John walked across the house to take the stairs.

He was rounding the landing when Brynn came out of Kaidan’s room and looked down at him from the top step. “Daddy, something’s wrong with Kaidan,” her brow furrowed as he took the last few steps up to the top floor.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, trying to remain calm. He followed her in to Kaidan’s room, rapping his knuckles on the door frame as he entered, as if announcing his presence would erase the fact that his children had all but broken the door down a minute ago.

Kaidan was sitting on the far side of the bed, right elbow on his knee, his hand trying to massage his temples with his thumb and fingers. He wasn’t smiling as he listened to Everly and Abby babble, which was how Shepard knew something was definitely wrong. Abby and Ev seemed to be completely unaware of Kaidan’s discomfort. 

“Ok girls, remember what I said about letting Kaidan be by himself for a little while?” He interrupted their retelling of the entire plot of the movie. “Let’s go, downstairs, come on.” He gently took them by the shoulders and pushed them towards Brynn who was standing in the doorway. She seemed to take her dad’s cue and grabbed her sisters to usher them outside the room, the door swishing closed behind them.

John watched them go before he turned around to see Kaidan still sitting there. He hadn’t moved an inch, head still in his hand.

“Kaidan?” Shepard tried softly. Kaidan jumped a little and pulled his hand away from his face, as if he hadn’t realized that John was still there.

“You ok?” Shepard took a couple steps toward Kaidan, rounding the side of the bed the biotic was sitting on.

“Yeah, I’m- I don’t- I just-” Kaidan stuttered out. John frowned as Alenko tried to get his words out. “I uh- I tried to- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” he shook his head back and forth and curled into himself even more than his previous hunched form.

“Hey, hey, what is it?” John took the few remaining steps between him and the bioitic and sat down on the bed next to Kaidan, ever so careful not to touch him.

“I-” Kaidan ran his hand over his brow again and pulled it through his hair. “I tried-” he swallowed, “I tried a barrier. Just to see.” Alenko tensed up completely beside the commander on the bed, practically vibrating from the effort.

John took a second to process the information. A barrier. He’d tried to use his biotics. Because he didn’t have his collar on. Kaidan expected him to be angry, and a small part of John wanted to be. Never once had he been around a human biotic who had tried to use their powers. All the stories he’d ever heard were about how they’d go crazy with the power, try to get back at anyone who had ever hurt them. Even if he knew it probably wasn’t true, a small part of him still thought it could be dangerous. But this was Kaidan. He trusted Kaidan, didn’t he? So, he had tried to use his biotics. So what? So, the house was still standing, nothing was broken, the girls were still alive and well. Was it really a big deal?

“How did it- Are you okay?” he found that his anger was small in comparison to his concern for Kaidan. John couldn’t keep from touching him any more and raised a hand to wrap it around the biotic’s arm, slowly turning Kaidan to face him. He could feel Kaidan trembling under his touch and tried move his thumb in comforting circles to calm him down.

“It- I-” Kaidan seemed to be searching John’s face for a sign of anger, but when he found none he continued, “I did it. Barely. I only held it for a few seconds, but…” he trailed off and remained tense under John’s hand.

“Okay.” Shepard tried to keep his response neutral. He decided that while he was alright with the fact that Kaidan tried his biotics, he couldn’t say he was overly thrilled about it either. “But, are you alright?” he moved his thumb on Kaidan’s arm again.

Kaidan finally seemed to relax at that point. He moved his other arm back up to his face to rub his temple. “Just a migraine. I used to get them, when I was younger, learning how to use my biotics. I forgot how bad they can get.”

“Can I get you something for it?” John turned even more on the bed, he could feel his knee touching Kaidan’s from this new position.

“No, I- I already found some aspirin downstairs. I just need to sleep.” Kaidan swayed a little away from Shepard before he came back to his position.

“Yeah, okay, definitely,” John got up to stand in front of Kaidan, who looked up at him, his nose wrinkled as he tried to keep one eye closed, most likely from the pain. _It must be bad if just moving his head hurts him that much,_ John thought. The commander reached down to grab the edge of the comforter for the bed and held it up for Kaidan to crawl under.

The biotic ducked his head at the treatment, but John could see the moment his pain won out over his pride before he scooted under the covers to lie down, throwing an arm over his eyes. Shepard carefully placed the comforter back on top of him and smoothed down the edge.

“Get to feeling better, I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered down at the biotic fondly. Kaidan already had his eyes closed and in a moment of brashness, John reached down to move a stray lock of hair off of Kaidan’s temple with his thumb. Shepard panicked, watching his own hand as if it wasn’t a part of his own body, but Kaidan just leaned into his hand slightly, seemingly unaware of where the touch was coming from. Shepard quickly removed his hand and headed for the door. He gave one last look in Kaidan’s direction before going outside to shut it all the way. He leaned back against the metal surface and closed his eyes. 

“Is Kaidy okay, daddy?” Abby asked in a small voice.

The commander glanced to the side to see all three girls huddled not far away, obviously worried about Kaidan.

“Yeah, baby, he just has a headache. Let’s let him sleep.” He walked over to usher the girls downstairs. John glanced up one last time at Kaidan’s door when they passed it and frowned. Kaidan had used his biotics. But he was still here, the same old Kaidan he’d always been.

Shepard had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think I've always related to Kaidan because I get migraines too. Ridiculous, incapacitating migraines. So yes, I just had to include one in the story, maybe to make myself feel better. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the newest update.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No notes? What is this? Thank you all for your support, it means so much to me!
> 
> Ok, I lied, I guess I do have a note. I'm from Texas, and I know it doesn't really get that cold in Cali in the winter. But I also know San Fran can get down to the 50's and we who live in warm states know that's definitely jacket weather.

“Bye Kaidan!” The bioitic heard called after him as he walked down the hall. Kaidan had just finished checking in with Brynn’s teacher at school after he’d walked with Everly and Brynn out of the cafeteria and dropped them back off at their respective classrooms. Kaidan had left quickly after the teacher gave him her typical suspicious look, looking more at his collar than his face.

Kaidan spent his time alternating every hour between the school and the daycare across the street, much to the chagrin of the teachers. None of them seemed to trust the biotic, but they let him stay. Since the request for his presence came from John Shepard, Alliance commander, the school principal seemed keen to comply. 

Kaidan thought about the trek across the street to Abby’s daycare. It wasn’t far, but it was getting cold. Thank goodness the school offered kindergarten through third grade. Kaidan didn’t know what he was going to do next year when Brynn moved up to the fourth and fifth grade campus.

Next year. He didn’t normally think about that far in the future, more used to just trying to get by day to day. Would he still be here then? He couldn’t remember the last time he stayed in one place for more than a year. He couldn’t imagine leaving, though. He was actually happy here. The last time he remembered being this happy was the day before he was yanked away from his parents. A cold feeling of dread started to creep in to his chest. He prayed Shepard wouldn’t make him leave after this Taylor business was over.

 _“Speaking of Taylor,”_ Kaidan tried to plough through his own depressing thoughts, _“I’d better go make the rounds at the daycare.”_

Kaidan pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he opened the doors to the school. In two days, it would be December. The girls had just gotten back into the groove of school after their fall break. Ever since the humans of earth had made their way to the stars, holidays like the Thanksgiving in America didn’t seem like such a priority anymore. Most of the schools still honored the break though, even if there wasn’t much of a holiday. But Christmas? Christmas was definitely still a big deal, and it was fast approaching. For the first time in a very long time, Kaidan was actually looking forward to it.

He let himself smile at the thought just as he’d reached the doors for the daycare. The biotic walked into the reception area to see a young woman he’d never met sitting behind the desk. He was about to just walk past her into the hallway when she stopped him. “Can I help you?”

“Where’s Elisabeth?” He asked her, inquiring about the kind old receptionist who usually resided behind the desk. Kaidan sometimes wondered if she was only nice to him because she couldn’t see well enough to know he had a collar around his neck. Either way, she wasn’t here now.

“She went to lunch and ended up slipping on some tile. Fell and broke a couple of ribs. She’s in the hospital now. But she’ll be okay, the doctor’s said” the young girl looked worried, before trying to give him a smile at the prognosis. 

“I’m from our other location across town. So, can I help you?” Her tone cheered up as she asked him the question. Huh. Usually strangers spoke to him with an air of suspicion. Kaidan then realized he still had his jacket on, which completely covered his collar. She didn’t know he was a biotic. 

“I’m here to check on Abby. Abigail Shepard,” he clarified.

“Can I see some ID, Mr. Shepard?” she tapped a couple items on the display in front of her.

“Oh, I’m not…my name is Kaidan Alenko,” the biotic blushed at her assumption that he was Shepard. Or married to Shepard.

She moved her eyes back up to his face, away from her display. “Oh, right, Alenko. They told me you’d be stopping in. You’re uh-” he watched her glance down to his neck, but she didn’t frown like most people tended to, “you’re free to go back.”

Kaidan gave her a smile and to his surprise she smiled back. He rapped his knuckles on the counter once before making his way back to the classroom. 

He tried to surreptitiously look for Abby through the open door. God forbid she see him. She’d want to come talk to him nonstop instead of staying in class with her friends. He spotted her in the corner, happily finger painting at a low table. He smiled to himself at the serious, concentrated face she was making. Must be a masterpiece.

Kaidan proceeded to walk the rest of the halls in the building and then walk the perimeter outside. No sign of Taylor. Kaidan did his hourly route one more time outside the school, then back to the daycare, when he heard the school bell ring from across the street. Time to go home.

He signed Abby out of daycare and grabbed her hand as he walked her out the front door. He could see the blue paint still under her fingernails from her painting.

“You have a good day?” He asked her.

“Yes, Kaidy, I painted!” she was skipping from one white patch of paint to another as they used the crosswalk to get to the school.

“You are quite the artist,” he looked down at her and wrinkled his nose playfully.

They made their way across the street and ducked into the foyer of the school to get out of the cool air. Brynn and Everly found them quickly in the lobby and ran up to stop in front of them. 

“Hey Brynndoline, Evy. Alright, everybody ready?” Kaidan pulled on Everly’s coat zipper to make sure it was up all the way. “Let’s go!” he about faced to open the door. Alenko looked down at their little heads as he held open the door for them and when he looked up to the sidewalk in front of the school, he saw a face that he memorized months ago: Cenek Taylor.

“Girls, get behind me,” the biotic ordered in a quick, authoritative voice. They followed his command immediately, probably the first time he’d ever sounded so serious to them.

“Ah, so you’re Commander Shepard’s little pet,” Taylor mocked, stepping closer to Kaidan, still five or six paces away. “I heard he got himself a lap dog.”

Kaidan didn’t care about his taunts, but he did care that Taylor had his hands behind his back. Was he holding a weapon? Kaidan couldn’t tell from this angle. There were still a few other children and parents loitering at the far end of the parking lot, but they were all too far away to react if Kaidan yelled.

“Don’t come any closer,” Kaidan warned, holding the girls behind him. “Brynn,” he said over his shoulder, still watching Taylor. “Go inside. Call your dad.”

He heard her footsteps as she turned around and opened the door that was still right behind them. He considered sending all the girls inside, but he didn’t want to risk them stepping from behind him for too long. Kaidan made sure to keep his body between them and Taylor, watching his every move.

“Did he tell you what he did, huh? Did he tell you how he ruined my life?” Taylor seemed to be getting more agitated, unaware or unconcerned that Brynn had just left. Cenek pulled his arms from behind his back to emphasize his words with hand movements, and Kaidan finally saw that he was indeed holding a pistol. Shit. Kaidan was unarmed.

“I said _don’t_ come any closer,” Kaidan gave a second warning as Taylor continued to get closer to their position.

“Aw, what are you gonna do, _biotic?_ Not like you have any powers, collared _filth._ ” He spat the insults as he continued to move towards them.

Kaidan tried to breathe through his nose and ignore the comments. He needed a plan. He could rush toward Taylor, at the chance of catching him off guard, but that would leave the girls without a shield.

He didn’t have time to think long though, as Taylor raised his pistol to point it right at Kaidan’s head. “I guess I’ll have to get rid of you first. I think I’ll only need 4 shots. One each,” Taylor sneered as he tried to get a look at the girls and Kaidan’s blood boiled. He would not let this maniac hurt his girls.

The door burst open from the school as Brynn ran out, “Ok, I did it!” she exclaimed. Kaidan’s eyes twitched in her direction before zeroing back on Taylor. Damn it, why did she come back out here?

Brynn’s sudden appearance made Cenek move his gun to where she had just exited the building and he fired a shot. Kaidan’s heart skipped a beat as he pushed the girls out of the way. Brynn’s forward momentum meant that she thankfully crashed into Everly and dodged the shot from Taylor’s gun.

Kaidan took a millisecond to say a prayer of thanks to anyone listening before he set his jaw and sent Taylor a murderous expression. He was going to end this right now, his own safety be damned.

Kaidan charged at Taylor as fast as he could, going for the gun from underneath. He grabbed at the weapon and Taylor’s arm raised toward the sky, pistol still in hand, as the two struggled to gain control of it. “Girls, run!” Kaidan shouted at them. They took no time to follow his orders, scurrying off toward the parking lot where Kaidan could see a few parents who had noticed the commotion and were starting to make their way closer.

Another shot went off into the sky as they fought over the gun. Taylor finally managed to pull his arm back down to chest level. Kaidan smashed his boot down on top of Cenek’s foot, causing him to let out a yowl, his trigger finger flexed and fired a shot in the direction of the parking lot. Kaidan watched in panic as it took off toward the crowd nearby, where the girls were, but thankfully it ricocheted off a nearby sky car and landed on the asphalt below. 

Kaidan felt a punch to his ribs at his momentary distraction and Taylor took the pause to yank himself away from the biotic, raising his gun again. He didn’t get the chance to fire as Kaidan tackled him to the ground, the gun mercifully rolling out of his grasp. Kaidan got in a punch to Taylor’s face before Taylor grabbed him by the shirt, twisted and threw him down on the concrete to the side. Kaidan’s head hit the ground hard and his vision whited out for a moment at the impact. In his winded state, he couldn’t stop Taylor from getting on top of him. Cenek got in one, two punches to Alenko’s face before wrapping his hands around Kaidan’s neck.

It had been a long time since Kaidan had to fight anyone. While he’d learned hand-to-hand in a previous security job, that was almost ten years ago. Kaidan tried to suck in air, but it was no use with the hands around his neck, just under his collar. Alenko kicked up with his right leg and managed to throw off Taylor’s leverage a little, using the opportunity to throw his head forward and slam his forehead into the ex-marine’s nose. Taylor let out another yelp as he kiltered to the side, taking his weight off Kaidan. The biotic then switched their positions, slamming Taylor to the ground underneath him, this time with Taylor’s face shoved in to the concrete. Kaidan grabbed Cenek’s arms and held them behind his back as he dug his knee into the man’s spine. He looked over and saw the gun lying to the side and used his foot to kick it up enough to grab it. He placed the gun to Taylor’s head, still holding Cenek’s hands behind his back.

“It’s over, you lost” Kaidan growled in an icy tone. At that moment he heard sirens in the distance. Thank god.

There was a moment of eery quiet, the only noise the quickly approaching sirens, as Kaidan dug his knee into Taylor’s back and the small crowd of parents just stood there watching, as if they didn’t know who to be more afraid of in that moment.

Kaidan looked up when the police finally arrived in two squad vehicles with flashing lights, a plain skycar right behind them. The officers burst out of the shuttles and Kaidan noticed Garrus vault out of the third car. Two policemen quickly ran up to the two men on the floor. Kaidan handed over the pistol to one of them as soon as they were close enough and stood up as fast as he could. Probably not the best plan as his vision blurred and he stumbled. He felt arms come up to steady his shoulders and glanced over to see Garrus standing next to him.

“Sorry I uh- hit my head,” was all he could think to say to the turian at the moment. Kaidan reached up an arm to wipe the blood off his mouth. Garrus’ hands didn’t move from his shoulders as Kaidan was suddenly enveloped on all sides by little arms.

“We were so scared, Kaidan!” Brynn said from her embrace behind him. He looked down to see Everly and Abby below him, crying into his jacket. They were safe. They were all safe. It was over.

All of his energy left him in a rush as his adrenaline crashed. Garrus seemed to feel it and wrapped one of his long arms around Kaidan’s shoulders. “Come on, kid,” the secondary bass tone in his voice seemed even lower than normal as he led Kaidan over to the skycar. He opened the door for Kaidan to sit on the floor in front of the back seat, his legs dangling over the edge as the car hovered above the ground. The girls crowded around him, standing on the street, trying to plaster as much of themselves as they could to his legs.

Kaidan was still in a daze when he heard another vehicle pull up and footsteps quickly approach.

“Girls-” Shepard didn’t even finish his sentence before he threw himself to his knees and hugged them all at the same time. “You’re okay, you’re okay, it’s okay” he repeated over and over as they buried their heads into his dress uniform, a fresh round of tears soaking into the dark blue fabric.

Kaidan looked down at the tender scene on the sidewalk in front of him before he closed his eyes. He felt like he just got hit by an Atlas. Or like he hadn’t slept in a decade.

“Kaidan,” he heard the deep voice from below him and opened his eyes when he felt a hand wrap around his ankle. Shepard’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears as he looked up from his kneeling position into Kaidan’s face. “Thank you,” Shepard gave Kaidan’s ankle a squeeze and left his hand there. Kaidan felt Brynn lean back on his legs, still with her arms loosely held around her father. He glanced up to see Garrus standing there, watching over his extended family like a hawk, and tried to offer him a weak smile. Garrus sat down in a similar position as Kaidan, in front of the front seat this time and reached out to pat Kaidan on the shoulder. “You did good, kid.” Kaidan expected him to remove his hand, but he left it there, resting on the biotic’s shoulder.

They sat there for who knows how long, nobody speaking, Shepard’s hand still on his ankle, Garrus still supporting him, the girls still hugging their father. Eventually Shepard had to move so one of the officers could come take Kaidan’s statement. John ushered the girls over to stand with Garrus while he stood next to Kaidan, listening to the exchange between the biotic and the officer.

“So, what’s going to happen to him?” Shepard asked with a scowl as the officer finished taking his notes. The officer looked over at him and seemed to take in the decorated dress uniform that John was wearing. “We’ll take him in for interrogation, sir. There are multiple witnesses to back up the story. Possession of an illegal firearm, wielding a firearm in a public place, threatening a member- uh, a senior member of the armed forces, aggravated assault…” The policemen trailed off the list. “I’d say he’ll have a lot of charges brought up against him. He won’t be getting out of this one so quickly.”

Kaidan let out an internal sigh of relief at the exact moment Shepard sighed out loud. “Thank you, officer,” Shepard said as he shook the man’s hand. John turned to look between Kaidan, Garrus and the girls. “Come on,” he tried to smile down at all of them, “Let’s go home.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, y'all, these dorks just kill me. I'm playing through the first game still and I JUST. My children. I'll see if I can get the next chapter done soon because it's Fridaaayyy, aw yus.

It was two AM and John couldn’t sleep. 

Answering his omni-tool just a few hours ago to hear Brynn’s panicked voice kept repeating over and over in his head. He’d called Garrus as fast as he could. Garrus might not actually be on the police force, but he usually tried to stay in the loop with the local enforcement after his C-Sec days. Garrus had promised he’d get down to the school with some officers just as John pushed the button on the elevator to take him down to his own vehicle.

“What ifs” kept running through John’s mind as he rolled over in his bed. What if they hadn’t been in time? What if one of the girls had gotten hurt? What if Kaidan had gotten hurt? What if Kaidan hadn’t been there at all?

Trying to sleep was useless, he decided. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked to the bathroom to splash some water in his face, looking at his reflection in the mirror. Seeing the smooth skin of his own neck made him think back to when they’d arrived home that afternoon. 

None of them had wanted to speak as they all squeezed themselves onto one couch in the living room, the girls all but sitting on top of Kaidan. Brynn had wordlessly reached up to touch his collar and looked at her father. Shepard gave her a barely perceptible nod and just a few seconds later the ‘click’ of the collar unlocking was loud in the quiet room. Brynn took the collar off and deposited it on the coffee table in front of them, quickly plastering herself back to the biotic’s side. As John looked at Kaidan’s neck he saw the darkening bruises that Taylor had left there. That son of a bitch.

The room was quiet again before he heard Garrus to his left. “You have a neck,” the turian stated the obvious, staring at Kaidan, completely deadpan.

John couldn’t help but laugh at the comment. He even saw Kaidan crack a tiny smile and soon they were all laughing, the girls included, elated that it was all over, they were all safe. They’d ordered pizza after that and just sat on the couch, not wanting to leave anyone alone after the events of the day. Garrus had finally said his goodbyes late in the evening, earning a hug from Shepard and all the girls before he left.

John was brought back to reality by a noise coming from somewhere in the house. He hadn’t heard any footsteps on the ceiling above him, so it must be Kaidan, not the girls. He threw on an N7 t-shirt as he stepped into the hall in his sweatpants, feet bare. He padded over to the kitchen where the lights were dimmed. Kaidan stood with his back to Shepard at the counter, a container of flour resting in front of him.

“Can’t sleep?” John peered over Kaidan’s shoulder and realized he was kneading some sort of dough. The biotic gave a violent jerk at the sound of his voice before he turned to look behind him.

“No,” he replied, a blush forming on his cheeks, “I can’t stop thinking about it,” he paused to roll the dough between his hands. “I always liked baking when I was younger. Thought I’d give it a try, give myself something to do.”

John just nodded as he came to a stop beside Kaidan at the counter, entranced by the methodical movements of the biotic’s hands. Kaidan gave the dough a few more tugs before he picked it up and placed it in a bowl. He moved to open a cabinet and pulled out some cling wrap to place over the top of the bowl. “That has to rise for an hour or so,” he told Shepard as he sat the bowl aside and went to wash his hands off in the sink.

Shepard took in the domesticity of the situation. He could certainly get used to this. The commander was suddenly overwhelmed with affection and gratitude for the man standing just a few feet away from him, who had saved his whole family that day. He opened his mouth to say something - but what would he even say? How could he even begin? He tried again, “Kaidan, I-” 

The biotic seemed to tense from where he was drying his hands on a towel. He very slowly turned to face John, eyes on the ground, that blank expression he always developed when he thought he was going to be punished on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Shepard’s brow furrowed. Did he miss something?

He watched as Kaidan shook his head, eyes still pointed downward, “I’m sorry…” he started.

“You’re _what?_ ” John answered with more force than he intended. Did he just hear Kaidan correctly? 

Kaidan flinched at his tone, “I’m sorry, I-” Shepard closed the distance between himself and the biotic in three quick steps, effectively getting Kaidan to cut off whatever he was about to apologize for.

“Kaidan, why would you be sorry? You saved my girls today. You saved them and I-,” John couldn’t take it anymore, he reached up and placed a gentle finger under Kaidan’s chin, tipping his head up to look into Shepard’s eyes, “I don’t know if I can ever thank you enough.” 

John stared into Kaidan’s beautiful brown eyes and risked running a thumb over his chin. Kaidan sucked in a quiet breath at the movement. Suddenly, the biotic's face looked even more crushed than it did a few seconds ago. What on earth?

“So are you-” John begrudgingly removed his hand so Kaidan could speak. “Should I- I’m not a bodyguard anymore,” Kaidan finally settled on the words to say, going back to staring resolutely at the ground.

Oh. That honestly hadn’t even occurred to Shepard. After all the events of the day, John was just glad that everybody was together, in one piece. He looked at Kaidan’s bowed head. If Kaidan were one of the soldier’s he’d interviewed, he’d probably be out looking for a job tomorrow, his work here done. But he wasn’t a soldier. John still technically owned Kaidan, in the eyes of the law. Did Kaidan think he’d be sold again, now that his job was finished? Anger bubbled in his throat that Kaidan might think he would be so cruel, but he shoved it back down just as quickly. Kaidan said he’d never stayed more than a few months in one place, what else could he expect but to be shipped off to the next high bidder?

“Well, I guess you’ll get a little more time off than normal.” Kaidan slowly raised his head and looked at John through his eyelashes, like he couldn’t believe the words he’d just heard. “I’ll still need help watching the girls after school and maybe on weekends. Besides, I think Ashley has become rather used to all her new free time.” That earned him a huff of laughter from the biotic, just like he’d hoped.

All the tension seemed to drain out of Kaidan after that. John was still standing close enough to feel his body heat and he took note of the blush growing once again on Kaidan’s face. John’s focus zeroed in on the bruises on Kaidan’s neck, now even more prominent than they had been hours earlier. _Fuck you, Cenek Taylor,_ Shepard thought to himself. John hoped that man would rot in prison.

John raised a careful hand to run his thumb along the dark bruising on Kaidan’s neck, bracing his other fingers at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Kaidan remained completely still as he moved his finger from one side to the other. “I’m sorry he did this to you,” John whispered, somehow leaning closer to get a better look at the bruises.

“Its-” John could feel Kaidan swallow under his hand, he could feel the biotic’s breath on his cheek, “It’s nothing, I’ll be fine.” Kaidan started to tremble under his fingers. Was Kaidan still scared of him? John removed his hand quickly at the realization and stepped back just a tad, scanning Kaidan’s face for a sign of discomfort. Kaidan was trying to look at anything but John, a blush still on his face. John was once again struck by how beautiful he was, a speck of flour on his forehead, standing in the dim light of the kitchen in sweatpants and a t-shirt, collar nowhere to be seen.

John finally took his eyes off Kaidan to glance over at the clock. 02:23. “I guess I’ll head back to bed,” he announced. He didn’t want to make Kaidan any more uncomfortable than he seemed to be. “Don’t eat all the bread without me.” Kaidan let out a laugh and added an “aye, aye sir,” with a mock salute. Oh, now he decided to flirt back?

“God, you’ve been hanging around Garrus too much,” John complained as he made a show of rolling his eyes. He smirked at Kaidan and gave him a playful shove as he walked passed him to head back to his bedroom. 

“Good night, Kaidan,” he called over his shoulder, stopping in the doorway to his bedroom to see if he got a response.

“Good night, Shepard,” he heard the soft reply from the kitchen. John smiled to himself and shut his door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanted to thank you all so much for your comments and kudos. I've had this idea in my head for a while now and when I finally worked up the courage to write it down, I didn't think anyone would ever read it, much less actually like it, so really, thank you so much.

Kaidan stood in the middle of the hallway between the kitchen and the living room of the house, a little at a loss as to what to do with himself.

It was Saturday morning and Shepard had told Kaidan that he had some business to take care of and that he’d be back a little before noon. He mentioned that Ashley would be stopping by as he headed out the door, waving goodbye to the girls in the process.

Ashley had shown up just under an hour later, stepping in through the front door without any sort of announcement that she’d arrived.

“Where are my little Shepaaards?” she bellowed from the foyer, head thrown back, eyes closed. After recovering from the shock of her unpredictable appearance, Kaidan could hear loud footsteps from above his position in the kitchen as the girls obviously heard her voice. Ashley looked down at him as he stepped out of the kitchen to give her disapproving look, one eyebrow raised. “Oh, hey Kaidan,” she tilted her chin up in his direction in greeting. He rolled his eyes, but then couldn’t help but smiling a little. Kaidan didn’t think he’d ever get used to her treating him so normally.

“Auntie Ashleeeeey,” came the drawn out response as three shrieking girls skidded to a halt in front of the soldier-turned-bartender. “Hey kiddos! Ready to go?” she shifted her weight, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Go?” Kaidan questioned, moving further into the hall towards the door.

“We’re having a girls sleepover!” Everly pronounced excitedly as she took her jacket off the coat rack by the door and proceeded to shove her arms in the sleeves.

“That’s right, no boys allowed,” Ashley looked over to Kaidan with a smirk before she playfully stuck out her tongue in his direction. Kaidan narrowed his eyes at her and wrinkled his nose. He would not retaliate by sticking out his tongue. Nope.

“Say goodbye to Kaidan,” Ashley told the girls as they’d zipped up the last of their coats.

“Bye, Kaidy,” he heard from all three of them individually. They took turns giving him a hug before Ashley bundled them out the door. “See you later, Alenko,” was her last response as the door closed with its usual ‘swish.’

So, here he was, in the middle of the hall, at a loss as to what to do with himself.

He thought about baking something. He’d found he immensely enjoyed himself the last time he decided to make bread a few days ago, even if it was at two in the morning after the longest day of his life. It may have also had something to do with Shepard. With him. In the dark. Touching his face. 

Kaidan couldn’t contain a quiet smile as he started to blush at the thought, thankful that no one was around to see him.

He walked back into the kitchen, debating on what he wanted to bake, when he heard the door swish open again. 

“Forget something, Williams?” He called from where he was opening cabinets.

“Hey,” he heard a voice that was definitely not Ashley’s behind him. He turned to see Shepard standing at the half wall by the kitchen counter.

Shepard had his leather jacket on instead of the dress uniform he practically lived in. It was a good look.

“Hey,” Kaidan replied back to him, not moving from his spot.

“I’ve actually- I’m...uh, can you come with me?” The commander put his hands in the pockets of the jeans he was wearing. Kaidan took a second to form a response. Come with him where? The vague question started Kaidan’s heart beating faster than it’s relaxed pace from a few seconds ago.

“Yeah…” he threw Shepard a nervous look, but only received a smile in response.

“Great, I’ll get your jacket,” was all Shepard said as he walked to the coat rack. Kaidan narrowed his eyes. What was happening?

The commander walked back to Kaidan and handed him his jacket, watching him put it on. “Let’s go,” he pulled the keyfob for his skycar out of his jeans pocket, “oh, wait,” he stopped short and looked at Kaidan.

“Uh-” Shepard trailed off and walked towards his room, coming back a few seconds later with Kaidan’s collar in his hands. Right. “I’m sorry,” the commander apologized as he placed the collar around Kaidan’s neck and snapped it closed. His fingers brushed underneath Kaidan’s chin as he moved his hand away.

“Alright, now let’s go,” Shepard announced and walked toward the front door. Kaidan had no choice but to follow him.

They’d been in the car for a few minutes and John kept throwing glances Kaidan’s way. “Where are we going?” Kaidan finally worked up the nerve to ask.

“You’ll, uh, you’ll see,” was all that Shepard would give him. He seemed unusually jumpy. Kaidan didn’t like surprises.

They sat in the shuttle in silence as they moved closer and closer to downtown. Shepard had turned the radio on and Kaidan could hear Christmas music playing softly through the speakers.

As the skyways got busier and busier, Kaidan recognized the route they were going. Towards the shopping center where Shepard first bought him.

Kaidan felt like a bucket of ice had just been thrown over his head. They weren’t. They weren’t going back there. They couldn’t be. Shepard wouldn’t do that. Right? 

Just as the panic had managed to work its way through Kaidan’s whole body, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head in Shepard’s direction, eyes stopping at the console between their seats.

“Hey, I know what you might be thinking, but it’s not- we’re not, I wouldn’t- just. Trust me. You’ll see,” was where he left off. Right. Trust Shepard. Every other time he’d panicked in Shepard’s presence, everything had turned out fine. He could do this. He felt Shepard’s hand give his shoulder a squeeze before letting go. He could do this. But, where were they going?

The skycar zoomed by the marketplace and Kaidan felt his shoulders relax against the seat as he watched it get smaller in the rearview mirror. The shuttle started to slow down not long after as they descended down to hover in the parking lot of a fancy hotel.

Kaidan was even more confused than ever as the commander parked and exited the car. “Follow me,” he requested, glancing at Kaidan before he took off toward the front doors. Kaidan followed at a short distance behind him, trying to think through scenarios in his head. For the first time in a while, his mind was drawing a huge blank.

As they made it into the hotel lobby, Kaidan temporarily forgot his confusion as he looked around. High ceilings and walls were decked out in Christmas decorations at this time of year. Kaidan couldn’t remember ever having been to a building this elegant. He stumbled as he ran right into Shepard, who’d apparently stopped and turned around to face Kaidan. Large hands landed on Kaidan’s arms so he could regain his balance.

“I just want to say, I hope this is okay, I know I didn’t ask you first,” the commander actually looked nervous, an expression Kaidan had never seen on his face before.

Shepard didn’t give Kaidan time to comment as he turned and made his way over to a sitting area in the huge lobby. Kaidan saw two people stand up as they rounded a couch and almost stumbled again, this time on his own feet, as he realized who they were.

_His parents._

Kaidan just stood there in shock, and they stared right back. His parents. His mom, and his dad. Standing there. Right in front of him.

A sob broke him out of his trance as he looked up to see both his mother and father with tears in their eyes. “Kaidan,” his mom breathed, taking a timid step towards him. Hearing his name come from her mouth was all it took for him to run to them, throwing his arms around his mom. He could feel his dad come up to his right and put his strong arms around both of them.

Kaidan had no idea how long they stood there, minutes, hours, he didn’t even care, as they just held each other and cried.

Finally, Kaidan pulled back to look at his mother’s tear streaked face. “Oh, Kaidan, my Kaidan,” she put her hands on his face and wiped his tears away.

“Mom,” he reached up to put a hand on her forearm and looked over to his father, “dad.”

His father cupped his face with his own hand, over his mother’s. Kaidan closed his eyes again. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe that Shepard-

His eyes flew open. Shepard. He pulled back from his parent’s arms and looked over to see the commander still standing there, looking at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Kaidan approached him slowly. He didn’t know if he wanted to punch the man or kiss him. “Thank you,” he said earnestly as he stopped in front of Shepard.

“It’s-” John looked into Kaidan’s eyes, and gave him a soft smile “you’re welcome.”

At that moment, Kaidan gave in and threw his arms around the man’s neck. He felt Shepard’s arms come up to incircle his waist and hugged him tighter. Shepard just held him for a few moments before Kaidan pulled away, wiping his eyes one more time.

Shepard cleared his throat as Kaidan stepped out of this arms, letting his hand linger down Kaidan's arm probably a little longer than necessary. Kaidan could feel the typical blush on his cheeks. The biotic looked passed the commander's shoulder for a moment to notice the small crowd trying to inconspicuously watch the proceedings. Some looked touched, others scandalized that a biotic had just dared to hug an upstanding member of society. _Stare all you want,_ Kaidan thought before he glanced back up to John's face.

“I already explained it to Maria and Aaron, but here,” Shepard handed Kaidan a small card, “is a room key. I thought you might want to catch up tonight so, I’ll, uh, come back and pick you up here tomorrow.”

Kaidan took the card out of his hand and ducked his head. How could he have ever thought badly about this stupidly beautiful, selfless man?

Kaidan looked back to John’s face and gave him one last, “thank you.” Shepard smiled at him, clapping him on the shoulder. He let his hand linger again as he moved his eyes down to glare at Kaidan's collar, as if by sheer will he could remove it. "I can't-" he began and lifted his hand towards Kaidan's neck before he let it hover in an abortive move. There was no way Shepard could take his collar off now, not in a public area like this. Kaidan gave him a short nod of assent, which seemed to appease Shepard's worried expression a little. He let his hand fall back to Kaidan's shoulder once more before he gave it a squeeze, Kaidan lead into it just a little. Just this once. Shepard then walked over to shake Aaron’s hand. Kaidan’s dad proceeded to pull him into a hug instead, as did his mother as soon as his dad let go.

Shepard glanced one more time in Kaidan’s direction before he headed out the front doors of the hotel.

“Oh, my Kaidan,” his mom whispered as she walked over to give him another hug. Kaiden let out a contented sigh from the circle of her arms. He looked at his dad over his mother’s head.

“I have so much to tell you,” he said. Oh god. He didn’t even know where to start.

They ended up in the hotel room for which Shepard had apparently already covered the bill. It was much too nice, Kaidan thought, there was no way he was _ever_ going to be able to pay Shepard back.

He sat on the bed next to his mom, his dad on the bed across from them, and started from the beginning. He tried to leave out parts that he really didn’t want them to hear. How he’d been beaten for talking back, or how he’d been beaten for standing up for other biotics. How people had treated him like a nuisance, like an animal, like a pebble in their shoe. He tried to recall all the different owners he’d been through, all the different ‘jobs’ he’d had. They all seemed like a blur now.

"It's been-" he realized he didn't even know how to finish that statement. Awful? A nightmare? He'd gone through a lot in the sixteen years since he'd seem them. Kaidan moved a hand to run along the collar self-consciously. "It's been really hard," he finally choked out. He could feel his mom's arm move tighter around him from where it wrapped over his shoulder.

"How long-" her hand lifted up to the collar as well, her question clear.

"Since they took me." For the first time Kaidan lowered his head away from them, ashamed that even when he was with them, he couldn't get away from his station.

"Oh Kaidan, I can't even say how sorry we are. We should have fought to keep you. We should have looked harder for you. We should have-"

"No, momma, it's not your fault. You're here now, that's all that matters. Besides, I've been- Shepard is- he is...good to me. He treats me like I- like I'm normal? He um", Kaidan swallowed. Surely he could tell his _parents_ that Shepard would take his collar off. "He doesn't even make me where it all the time. And the girls..." That got him started on a whole new spiel about the girls. He really did love those red-headed beauties. He could see his parents soft smiles as he went on and on about all their shenanigans.

"I still can't believe," he felt his mom touch his collar once more. "But I guess it doesn't matter. You're still you, even with this," she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Hours had passed since he’d started talking, his parents listening intently. Kaidan startled when a knock sounded at the door. “Room service,” a voice announced.

His mom left his side and opened the door to receive the steak and potatoes that were stacked onto three plates. “It’s already payed for,” the attendant responded when Maria pulled out a credit chit to pay him.

Shepard. _Damn that man_ , Kaidan thought, _I love him so much._

Wait, whoa, love? Did he love Shepard? He thought about his gorgeous blue eyes, the scar on his hairline, him kneeling at the girl’s bedside, all the times he could have been awful to Kaidan, but he was just the opposite. Holy shit. He loved Shepard. He was in love with Shepard.

“Kaidan, you okay, sweetheart?” Kaidan blinked at his mom’s voice. 

“Yeah, sorry, ‘m fine.” 

He wasn’t fine. What was he going to do? It’s not like he could tell Shepard he was in love with him. No matter how many nice things Shepard did for him, there was no way he could love Kaidan romantically. He was an Alliance commander, for crying out loud, a handsome one at that. He probably had women swooning all over him.

Kaidan looked up at his parents, who were setting up the food on the table in the room. Best save his internal crisis for later, he hadn’t seen his parents in sixteen years. Just the thought of it made him get up and put his arms around his dad, who hugged him back snugly.

“Oh Kaidan, we’ve been looking for you for so long. We were so worried that- we didn’t know what happened to you, or where you were,” he felt his mom’s hands on his back from where he was still in his dad’s arms. “After all this time, you’re here, with us, and your safe, and you’re whole, and-” her voice broke off in a sob. He turned slightly to wrap one arm around her shoulders, leaving the other around his dad.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Kaidan admitted, a little misty-eyed, all of his tears almost spent. 

“Commander Shepard contacted us two weeks ago,” Aaron explained, “we’ve been trying to get down here ever since, but some of the equipment malfunctioned and we had to get it sorted before we left the farm.”

Maria let out a sigh before wiping away her tears. She sat down at the table, already dishing out food onto plates. Kaidan and his father followed suit.

“We wanted to stay longer, but I’m afraid your father already has more shipments scheduled to come in this week,” his mother added with a disappointed tone, voice still a little shaky.

“It’s okay, momma, you’re here now,” Kaidan soothed her.

“John said he’d be happy to have us down again, when we get the time,” she gave him a joyous smile.

“He-” Kaidan started as the revelation finally hit him. He could see his parents again. This didn’t have to be a once in a lifetime occasion. Tears he didn’t know he had left started to well up in his eyes.

His mom just reached out to place her hand over his own on the table. 

“Quite the generous man you have there,” she said in that tone that all mother’s get when teasing their children about a crush.

“ _Mom!_ He’s not, we’re not- I’m-” At a loss for any other excuse, he gestured to the collar around his neck. 

“Oh, I don’t think that matters to him sweetie,” she cooed. Kaidan ducked his head and started to blush.

“It’s not like that.” Kaidan did not want to have this conversation with his parents. He didn’t even want to have this conversation with himself.

“Okay, okay, I’m just teasing you,” his mom squeezed his hand and picked up her fork to eat.

Kaidan followed her example and picked up his own cutlery. He smiled across the table at his father as they switched the conversation to how things were going on the farm. Kaidan sat back in his chair as he listened to his father’s soothing bass voice. He’d missed this so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Kaidan's parents have any canonical names? None that I could find anyway.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright my friends, I'm super excited to share the rest of this with you, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up writing the last few chapters by the end of the week. I've got lots planned though, so never fear, they'll probably be pretty lengthy. ;)
> 
> A note I did have for this chapter: I'm not actually sure what the situation is for Earth in Mass Effect. I know there are human counselors, etc. but it seems to me that countries still exist, and somehow I feel like the Earth itself would need some kind of representative to tie them all together and represent them to the rest of the galaxy. So I'm just going to pull the AU card if I missed something in my research and there's a different alternative to Earth's representation in canon. (Also, yes I did blatantly just take the name Celene straight from DAI, I regret nothing.)

“Bread is in the oven and the ham is almost done cooking. The dextro half is already finished, just have to heat up the beans, and then we’ll be ready to go.” John looked over at Kaidan who held a list in his hand as he checked off all the food that had already been made.

“Great,” the commander responded from his position at the kitchen island, “everyone else should be arriving soon, so I think we’re set.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Shepard saw Kaidan’s hand that he wasn’t using to hold the list fly to his neck. The biotic turned to look at John with wide eyes. “Should we…” he began, holding a hand in the place the collar would normally be. He must be worried about Shepard’s guests reacting badly that he wasn’t wearing it. Not for the first time John wondered about Kaidan’s past. How often had he been punished, even for small things? One day, John might have the courage to ask him.

“It's fine, Kaidan,” John tried to appease him instead, “they already know that you won’t be- Just know that they don’t really agree with that,” he made a motion towards Kaidan with his hand, “any more than I do.”

Kaidan still looked like he wasn’t sure, but the sound of the girl’s laughter broke them out of their conversation.

John smiled over at his daughters who were busy coloring at the table in the kitchen. Everly looked up at him as if sensing his gaze. She pointed a crayon at him like it was an extra finger and gave him a wink with a clicking noise from the side of her mouth. Shepard barked out a laugh. Where did she learn to do _that?_ No matter where it came from, he blamed Garrus.

The turian in question had left with Ashley a couple of hours ago to drive to the transport station. They had a couple of friends coming in from off planet for their family Christmas dinner. Okay, the day after Christmas dinner. Christmas had already passed.

John thought back to the previous day. It had just been him, Kaidan and the girls. He had been abruptly pulled from sleep as Abby threw herself on top of him, “It’s Christmas!” she squealed and started to pull on his hand to get him out of bed.

“Ok, ok, I’m up,” he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as he looked at the clock. 05:02 it read. Ugh, kids were the worst.

He remembered kids weren’t actually the worst a little while later, when the girls had unwrapped their toys and had all hugged him tightly with a chorus of, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” They followed the same treatment with Kaidan before going back to play with their new princess dolls and other toys.

Kaidan sat on one couch as Shepard sat on the other, just watching the girls contentedly. After a bit, Kaidan picked up a package from the couch next to him and stood up to hand it to John.

“I know it’s not much, but..” he handed the parcel over, wringing his hands together after Shepard took it.

John didn’t say anything as he started to unwrap it. He let out a laugh when he saw what it was. A loaf of home-baked bread. John realized Kaidan didn’t actually have any money of his own, so he had to get creative. Shepard stared down at the bread. He loved it.

“I did eat all the bread without you, that one night. So I thought I’d make you some more,” Kaidan smirked at the commander as he sat down on the same couch as Shepard, much too far away for John’s liking.

Shepard continued to laugh at the loaf in his hands. “I love it,” he repeated his thoughts out loud and gave Kaidan a playful shove, similar to the one Kaidan received from him the first time he made bread in this house.

“I actually got you something, too,” the commander leaned over to grab a package off the floor in front of the couch. He handed it to Kaidan, who wordlessly unwrapped it.

“You-” Kaidan didn’t finish his sentence.

“I figured you could use a way to call your parents,” John suggested as he looked at the omni-tool in Kaidan’s hands.

“Thank you,” Kaidan breathed, holding the tool like it was the most precious thing in the world. He quickly tried it on his arm before setting it on the coffee table. “I haven’t had a Christmas present in a long time,” the biotic added in a quiet voice, not taking his eyes off the gift, like it might disappear if he looked away.

“I know,” John said, his gaze fixed on the omni-tool as well. He hoped Kaidan would be here for many Christmases to come.

“Behold, you’re conquering heroes!” Garrus’ voice rang out in the foyer of the house, bringing John back to present time. He grinned and moved around the island to make his way into the entryway.

“By the goddess, it’s been a long time,” came Liara’s voice as he rounded the corner, the asari moved to give Shepard a tight hug. “It’s so good to be back here.”

“Good to have you back, Liara,” Shepard said in her arms. He couldn’t stop grinning.

“I think he forgot about me,” came a voice from behind Liara, with a slightly filtered sound.

“You and me both,” Garrus’ voice answered the quarian standing next to him.

“Garrus, don’t encourage her,” John rolled his eyes as he stepped up to give the quarian a hug. “Missed you Tali,” he said as he pulled away.

“Auntie Liara, Auntie Tali!” John could hear from the other room. The girls seemed to finally realize that there were more people than normal in the house. They ran over to hug both of the newcomers.

“Oh my gooood, it’s smells so good in here,” Ashley proclaimed as she walked through the door. “I think I may actually die of starvation if I don’t eat literally right this second,” she tried to hang up her coat on the rack. More like she threw it in the correct direction, but it fell to the ground. She was already on her way to the kitchen though, too focused on her goal to notice.

“Kaidan, you are a god amongst men,” Shepard heard her say, it sounded like she had some food in her mouth. John shook his head fondly.

“Kaidan? _The_ Kaidan?” Liara questioned, making her way over to the kitchen. John followed her to find Kaidan frozen like a deer in headlights, one hand hovering in the air where he was picking up dinner rolls off a baking sheet to put into a basket.

“Yeah, yeah, Kaidan, Liara. Liara, Kaidan,” Ashley said around her second bite of a roll, “oh, and that’s Tali,” she added as the quarian rounded the corner. “Great, we all know each other, let’s _eat_!”

The girls laughed at her antics, but everyone followed her example and started to grab plates. John watched Kaidan help the girls clean up their coloring supplies before moving to help them fix their own plates. 

Once they were all seated, plates piled high, Liara addressed the human biotic, “It’s so nice to meet you Kaidan, I’ve heard much about you.”

John tried not to laugh at the worried expression that developed on Kaidan’s face as he looked from Shepard to Garrus to the girls, trying to figure out who told the asari about him.

“All good things, don’t worry,” Tali added from her seat next to Garrus. John didn’t think it did anything to help Kaidan’s embarrassment. 

Throughout the evening they all continued to laugh and small talk around the table. Liara was as vague as possible about what she was up to these days and Tali explained to the girls what it was like to live on a starship. 

“It really is so good to be here, with you all,” the asari shifted in her seat and put her hand on top of Shepard’s, which had been resting on the table beside her. He turned his hand over to give hers a squeeze.

He looked around the table and took in the sight of his adopted family, all together. His gaze fell on Kaidan, who was staring at John and Liara’s entwined hands with blank expression on his face. Oh. Shepard realized that it could be perceived that he and Liara were- was that what Kaidan thought? Kaidan seemed to sense Shepard’s gaze as he locked eyes with the commander before averting them to answer a question Abby asked him.

“Got any plans for New Year’s, Shepard?” Tali asked from down the row of chairs.

“Work,” Garrus said for him. Shepard let go of Liara’s hand and smacked the turian on the other side of him, which earned him giggles from all three girls.

“What? It’s true!” Garrus complained, rubbing the spot on his arm.

“Garrus and I have actually been invited to the centennial Turian and Human summit. It’ll have been a century since first contact next year. Both councils decided to hold a few days of board meetings and planning sessions to make sure we’re all on the same page,” Shepard answered Tali’s question.

“I think we all narrowly avoided a repeat of the contact war with all the arguing about whether to hold it on Earth or on Palavan. You stubborn humans won out in the end, as usual,” Garrus’ mandibles moved in a way that John usually considered the equivalent of an eye roll. “But regardless, it’s really just an excuse to throw a giant, fancy party,” Garrus put his arm around the back of Tali’s chair.

“There _is_ a gala on the last day,” John conceded, “President Celene is supposedly the guest of honor.”

President Celene Durand was the newly appointed ambassador for planet earth. She was more of a figurehead than an actual ambassador, but she was someone the humans of earth could look up to. Someone they could feel like was on their side, someone they could feel like they knew personally.

“Princess Celene is pretty,” Abby announced from her place at the table.

“She’s not a princess, silly, she’s a _president_ ,” Everly was quick to correct her.

“She’s pretty,” was all Abby repeated in response. 

“Are the girls?” Liara spoke up from next to Shepard, he looked over to see her eyebrows raised, “ _staying here?_ ” Shepard heard the unspoken words.

“Well, now that you mention it Liara,” he smirked at her, then turned to face the girls, “how would you girls like to come with me to the summit?”

“Really, daddy?!” Brynn squealed in delight, practically standing up in her chair, her voice raising in pitch as she spoke. Similar responses came from Everly and Abigail simultaneously. He’d never taken them on a work trip before, but the summit would be hosted at a top scale hotel in downtown LA, there’d be plenty of security there, and it would be nice to keep the girls with him for a change, to take his mind off the bland council meetings.

“We’re leaving the day after tomorrow,” he announced to the table, but directed it more at the girls. Their little eyes widened at the news and they started talking amongst themselves, unable to contain their excitement. John glanced across the table to Kaidan, who was staring resolutely at his food.

“Well, now I’m jealous,” Ashley joked from her seat, “I want a free pass to a giant party.”

“Sorry, Ash, couldn’t get any more invitations,” Shepard half joked, though he did wish Ashley could come with them.

“I guess I forgive you,” she sent a wink in his direction. “Well, I think it’s time for a food coma, anyone else?”

That earned a laugh from the whole table. John leaned back in his chair and looked around at each of his friends contentedly, happy to be with his family.

Once dinner was concluded, everyone who had not cooked offered to do the dishes. They all headed to the living room to visit afterwards, the girls dragging a little as the hour drew late. After what seemed like much too short of an evening, the aliens and Ashley all said their goodbyes and piled into Garrus’ skycar, Liara and Tali headed to their hotel, and Ashley and Garrus headed home.

Kaidan had already put the girls to bed, so after his guests had left, John made his way up the stairs to peak in their rooms. They were surprisingly asleep already, all the excitement must have worn them out.

He took the long way across the second floor to pass by Kaidan’s room. He knocked on the door frame and entered at Kaidan’s, “Come in.” 

The biotic was sitting on his bed holding his new omni-tool, probably figuring out how to use it.

“Sorry I sprang the news about the trip at dinner,” John started, “I wanted to surprise the girls.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a great time,” the biotic glanced up at him for a moment.

“Actually, you’re coming with us too. I hope you don’t mind,” John crossed his arms and leaned on the dresser.

“Me?” Kaidan actually looked shocked at the news, like he hadn’t even considered that to be an option.

“I really do have meetings to attend while we’re there, so I’ll need someone to watch the girls. I’m sure Garrus and I might be able to manage, but I’d feel a lot better if you could come with us.” John made sure to phrase it so that Kaidan knew that if he didn’t want to go, John wouldn’t make him. Although he would admit to himself that childcare the _only_ reason he wanted Kaidan there. If he had any chance to spend extra time with biotic, he would definitely take it.

“I- yes, of course-" Was Kaidan blushing, or was that just the low light? "Of course I’ll come,” Kaidan promised. John let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, good, good.” He stared at Kaidan, not sure what to say next. Why did this situation feel so awkward? Like he was asking a date to come with him on a trip, not his biotic-turned-bodyguard-turned-friend. Friend? Is that what they were? Friends? 

“I’ll see you in the morning, then,” Shepard pushed himself off the dresser and made his way to the door.

“Good night, Shepard,” he heard the biotic’s voice from behind him.

“Night,” he answered with a smile as he shut the door. 

Friends? He certainly considered Kaidan a friend. Did Kaidan think of him as a friend too? Or was he still just an owner to the biotic? He tried to think back to all their interactions in the past few days as he walked down the stairs and toward the master bedroom. Kaidan had hugged him at the hotel, he’d given him a Christmas present with his very limited resources. He had to consider Shepard as a friend. Right? 

_Maybe he could be more than a friend_ , Shepard’s brain supplied him. The thought had started to seem less and less far fetched recently. Could Kaidan come to love him one day? John looked over at the biotic collar, sitting on his dresser like it usually did these days. He thought about Kaidan’s smirk, about the rare times he’d actually flirted with Shepard, about the biotic’s face when he’d looked at John and Liara’s joined hands, about the look of pure adoration Kaidan gave him when he’d thanked Shepard at the hotel with his parents. Could Kaidan actually think of him as a friend, as more than a friend?

Maybe, he thought, just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, they're both freaking smitten, how unbearable.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, y'all, what even is this? So uh...I got a little carried away. Have a very long chapter. XD

“Checking in for John Shepard,” Kaidan heard the commander state as he walked up to the hotel counter, “and company,” he added, smiling down at the girl’s. They weren’t paying much attention though, Kaidan noticed, too busy taking in the sight of the beautiful hotel, warm lights and beautiful winter decorations for the new year. Kaidan could understand their wonder, thinking back to the hotel in San Francisco with its amazing Christmas decorations.

“ _Commander_ Shepard?” The hotel receptionist clarified, tapping on his display.

“Uh, yes, that’d be me,” Shepard replied. Kaidan smirked a little at the exchange. It was a little too obvious that Shepard was an Alliance commander, with his newly pressed blue uniform, decorated with plenty of medals and pins. 

“Welcome to LA, commander. Here are your room keys, two for either room. You’ll be on the eleventh floor. The ballroom is on floor six and the conference rooms are one down, on floor five. The summit begins at thirteen hundred, “ Kaida glanced at the clock on the wall. 12:27. “Please let me know if you have any questions and enjoy your stay.” The receptionist finished his spiel with a slightly forced smile, already looking at the turian couple behind them in line. It was rather crowded in the lobby, _quite the turnout for a bunch of meetings_ , Kaidan thought.

“Alright, let’s go,” Shepard grabbed his duffle bag in one hand, room keys in the other and started to lead his little squad over to the elevator, Kaidan following in the back.

“Commander Shepard!” a raised voice said from the other side of the room.

“Commander Shepard,” it continued, closer, Kaidan saw it belonged to a man in a black uniform. He had light skin to match his light gold hair and light blue eyes. “Commander,” he repeated one more time as he finally stopped in front of their group.

“Owen Crawford, sir,” the man introduced himself, holding out a hand for Shepard to shake, “I’m head of security for President Celene, we’ll be here to keep an eye on all the events this week.”

Kaidan watched as Shepard put down his duffle to firmly shake Crawford’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Crawford,” Shepard added before picking up his bag once more.

“Sir, I uh, I wanted to ask you,” the man started, he seemed flustered to be speaking to Shepard. Kaidan looked back at John while Crawford continued to speak. He was rather intimidating, Kaidan supposed. He was an Alliance commander, most people knew who he was, especially anyone who was a soldier, or security. He was tall, muscular, beautiful - _Damn it, not again,_ Kaidan scolded himself. This week was not a good week to start going down that path. Four days at a hotel, in close quarters with Shepard and the girls? Nope, definitely not good for his still steadily growing affection for the commander.

“...little short on security,” Kaidan heard, causing him to look back at Crawford. “The flu vaccines didn’t work as well as the doctor’s predicted this year and we’ve had almost a third of our team go down. We were hoping you might lend us your biotic for the remainder. We’ve made sure you’ll have childcare with a few of the other families that came in.”

What? He was going to have to work security, not spend time with the girls? Kaidan looked back to Shepard and could practically see the gears moving in his head. Of course it was all up to Shepard, Kaidan certainly didn’t have a say in the matter. The collar on his neck suddenly felt heavier than it did a few moments ago.

Then again, if they really were short on security, maybe he could help. Kaidan had already had enough of someone threatening the girls to last a lifetime, he definitely did not need a repeat. Kaidan rolled his shoulders back and looked at Shepard, trying to tell him with his eyes that he was alright with the situation.

Shepard looked over to him in that moment. He scanned the biotic’s face before giving him a tiny smile of reassurement. “Yes, of course, whatever you need,” he said after a moment, seeming to realize that he still hadn’t answered Crawford.

“Thank you commander, he’ll be very useful,” Crawford never even glanced Kaidan’s way, as if he were just a weapon John was handing over, not a living, breathing person. 

“Don’t let me keep you from going to your room,” Crawford continued, “but I’ll, uh, take the biotic from here.” Shepard shot Kaidan an apologetic look before looking down at the girls, “Say goodbye to Kaidan, girls,” he told them.

“Where is Kaidy going?” Abby looked between her father and Alenko, confused.

“Kaidan has to go help make sure we all stay safe, Abby. Don’t worry, you can see him tonight.” Abby blinked at him a couple of times, then nodded like she understood. She still had her brows furrowed though, when she moved to hug the biotic.

“Bye, Kaidy,” she said with a pout. He hugged her back, and opened his arms for all the girls to hug him, before standing and looking back at Shepard. The commander gave him a nod before he took Kaidan’s bag and gestured for the girls to follow him. Kaidan gave their hair a ruffle as they walked away, leaving him standing in the Lobby with Crawford.

“Right, well, follow me,” Crawford said, his voice suddenly less polite than it had been, still never looking at Kaidan. The biotic put his head down to follow the uniform in front of him.

They made their way through the seemingly endless service hallways of the hotel, going up to the third floor. They ended up in a security office, which was packed with guards in similar black uniforms.

“Burke, I have a biotic for you,” Crawford supplied, walking up to a burly man that reminded Kaidan too much of the last auctioneer who sold him. He did look a little more put together, though, with his military hair cut. _Probably just so people will hire him_ , Kaidan mused. “Put him on shifts with the rest of your squad,” Crawford addressed the newcomer before walking away and out of the room without so much as a “see you later,” to Kaidan.

“Biotic, huh?” Burke eyed Kaidan up and down once, twice, before letting out a huff. “Why do they always leave me with the trash?” he muttered while turning away from Kaidan to speak with the men standing behind him.

Kaidan stood there in the crowded room, eyes darting around to the other men. Most of them were trying to hide their glances, but some of them were straight up staring. He didn’t notice any other biotics. 

Kaidan lowered his head again and stared at the floor. He wished he could be back with the girls, with Shepard. But now he had a job to do. He’d show these idiots that he was better than all of them. Even with his new resolve, he glanced around the room one more time and realized it had been a while since he felt so alone.

“Alright, listen up, you lot,” Burke barked in a loud voice in front of him. Wonderful. Not only had he been put on this asshole’s squad, Burke was apparently the man in charge when Crawford was away. 

“You should have all received your shifts already, if not, ask your squad leader. We’re running a tight ship this week, and we’re low on bodies, so I don’t want to hear none of your complainin’ if you get a shift longer than ten hours.” A few groans sounded throughout the room. “Hey! What’d I just say?” The whole room seemed to snap to attention at his question. “That’s what I thought,” Burke added before a smirk formed on his face. 

“All right gents, this shindig starts in twenty, so I want you all to make your way to your posts when we dismiss. So. Dismissed,” he made a shooing motion with his hand. The uniforms all took that as their cue to leave as quickly as they could. Kaidan could hear group leaders issuing out orders as the men shoved their way through the single door, leaving Burke and four other men standing in the room with Kaidan.

Burke picked up a coffee cup from a nearby table and drank the black liquid all in one go. He threw the cup towards a trashcan by the wall. It made it in the bin, but not without splattering coffee on the white paint of the wall.

“Alright, kids, with me,” he told the other four men before walking out of the room. They all followed him through the door, Kaidan left to just assume he was supposed to follow as well. “Try to keep up, biotic,” he heard Burke say from the front of the pack. Kaidan let out a sigh. It was going to be a long day.

Little did the biotic know just how long his day was going to be. He stood at his post in the doorway all day and into the night, watching as humans and turians all made their way into the conference room he was guarding, looking for any sign of Shepard or Garrus. To his disappointment, three separate sessions had gone in and come back out, no sign of anyone Kaidan knew.

It had already been what felt like forever when new uniforms came in to take over for the other four men on Kaidan’s team, at what Kaidan presumed was the ten or eleven hour mark. _It must be almost midnight by now,_ he thought to himself, _how long do these meetings take?_ Kaidan didn’t have his omni-tool on to check, he’d left it in the small suitcase he’d brought with him. Alenko watched the new guards clap each other on the back before they were dismissed by Burke to take the night off before their next shift. Nobody came to take over for Kaidan.

The hours dragged on and on and Kaidan was still at his post. He hadn’t seen any guests in a while. His legs ached from standing for so long, his shoulders stiff from holding his hands behind his back. When was his replacement going to show up?

Kaidan glanced over as a new face rounded the corner. The man made his way over to the uniform across the doorway from Kaidan. “Nightshift, huh?” the guard across from Kaidan laughed at the man’s approach. The newcomer made a face and shoved the current guard with both hands. “Get out of here,” the new guard said. The first guard didn’t need to be told twice as he took the same path and rounded the corner.

How long had he been standing here? And where was Burke? Kaidan glanced over to the replacement guard, who seemed content to act like Kaidan didn’t even exist. 

After what felt like a lifetime, Kaidan heard footsteps approach. “Biotic,” he heard Burke’s voice, “I’m taking you downstairs, you’re on monitor duty.” The man didn’t give Kaidan any time to respond as he about faced and started walking towards the elevator.

Monitor duty? His shift wasn’t done? Kaidan followed the man regardless, sure if he said anything about his shift, it wouldn’t go over well. He did _not_ need the girls to see him roughed up from a fight.

He followed Burke back into the security office and finally spotted a clock on the wall. 02:43. _What the hell?_ He’d been on shift for fourteen hours. Kaidan could feel his whole body vibrating from exhaustion and anger. He just wanted to sleep. 

Burke made his way across the room to stand by the two other men currently sitting at a desk, watching the monitors. “I’m going to get some shut eye, lads,” he told them, “the biotic’s all yours.” Burke shouldered past Kaidan and through the door, leaving the biotic standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Kaidan looked at the two men just as a smirk formed on one of their faces. “Right, you’re on monitors, biotic,” he told Kaidan before standing up from his chair. He gestured for Kaidan to sit down. The biotic made his way over to the desk, taking the vacated seat. As soon as he did, the second man stood up as well. Neither of them said anything more to Kaidan as they walked to the other side of the room, sat down at a table against the far wall and pulled out a deck of cards. Perfect.

Kaidan sat there until the early morning. He could barely keep his eyes open, his shoulders shaking minutely, as he tried to scan the monitors. He almost fell asleep once or twice, only to be startled awake by a loud laugh from the other two guards.

Crawford showed back up at 08:30 that morning, a couple of hotel attendants with food in tow. By that time more guards had shown up, no doubt getting ready for their shifts. Kaidan spotted the four guards that were originally part of his group coming through the door. By this point, Kaidan was resigned that he was never going to be able to leave. He did get up to take some food, though. They probably weren’t even going to offer it to him, but he didn’t care. He grabbed two plates. Some of the soldiers looked like they wanted to protest, but Kaidan shot them a murderous glare and they seemed to think better of it.

“Good morning everyone!” Crawford’s voice spoke up over the buzz of conversation in the room. “Event’s about to start again for the day, everyone have their shift assignments?” An affirmative noise sounded throughout the room. Kaidan frowned from his place, still at the monitor station. He had still never received any sort of shift assignment.

Crawford gave a spiel similar to Burke’s from the day before, finishing with a dismissal as the other guards all left to take their posts.

“Biotic,” Kaidan heard from behind him, “you’re with me, outside,” Kaidan turned to see Burke standing behind him. God damn it. Burke gestured for Kaidan to follow him by waving a hand over his shoulder, his back already to Kaidan as he walked out the door.

Alenko took a second to rub his brow before following. They ended up outside the front doors of the hotel and Kaidan realized didn’t even have his jacket with him. It wasn’t exactly cold this time of year in LA, but Kaidan wouldn’t call it balmy.

His body wracked with tremors now, from exhaustion and from the cold. Maybe if he just passed out, then he could finally sleep.

He stood in front of the doors for what seemed like nearly a century. Some of the hotel staff brought out a sandwich for Burke, mercifully handing one to Kaidan as well. He scarfed it down not long after it entered his grasp. Was it lunchtime already?

Eventually, after another eternity of standing, two guards came out to replace him and Burke. _Thank god_ , Kaidan thought as he started to head inside. “On my six, biotic,” he heard Burke’s voice pass him in the lobby. Kaidan felt like he could cry in that moment, right there in front of the humans and turians milling about in the reception area.

He pulled himself together enough to drag his feet after gruff man, following him back in to the security office. 17:35 the clock read. _What. The. Hell._ Kaidan felt that tugging sensation in his chest like he really would cry when he read the time. 17:35? He’d been on shift for _twenty-eight hours_?

Kaidan came to a halt just inside the doorway. No. He was done. He was leaving. He wasn’t doing this anymore. He didn’t care what they would do if he disobeyed orders, _he needed sleep._

Burke turned to look at him at the sound of his abrupt halt. “Hey!” Kaidan heard shouted after him as he walked through the door of the security office.

Right into a brick wall. Or, not a brick wall? Kaidan let out an “oomph” as hands belonging to whoever he’d just run into came up to steady his shoulders. He glanced up to their face to say a quick word of apology before he almost started to cry all over again.

Beautiful blue eyes looked down at him with concern. “Shepard…” Kaidan breathed out, a feeling of absolute relief washing over him. He couldn’t control his body anymore, not with how tired he was. He swayed forward in Shepard’s grasp, his head ducking down enough that his nose brushed against the commander’s shoulder. He could feel Shepard’s hands slide down his arms to cup his elbows, could feel the heat radiating off of his neck. He wanted to stay there in Shepard’s arms forever.

“Hey!” Kaidan heard Burke’s voice again as a hand grabbed the biotic by the back of the shirt and ripped him away from Shepard’s embrace. “I’m sorry, commander, I don’t know what got into this biotic here, it won’t happen again,” Burke grovelled to Shepard, his bruising grip now around Kaidan’s bicep.

Some of the other guards had come out to see what all the commotion was about, forming a half circle in the hallway, with Shepard on the other side.

“How long has _this biotic_ ,” Shepard repeated Burke’s words back to him, “been on shift?” Kaidan just stared at Shepard’s boots at the tone of his voice. Shepard had become deathly still, his icy tone low and measured.

“I, uh, don’t know, commander, sir. Just the same as all the other men,” he looked around at the other soldiers, who nodded their agreement.

Shepard didn’t say anything, just stared at Burke with a deadset expression in his eyes. Even Kaidan couldn’t tell what was going to happen next.

“Kaidan,” he finally said, after what seemed like an eternity. Shepard didn’t even move his eyes from where he was still glaring at Burke, “let’s go.” Kaidan didn’t need to be told twice. He didn’t even need to be told once. The biotic threw off Burke’s grasp and made his way toward Shepard.

“But, sir…” he heard from behind him. Shepard put his hand around Kaidan’s bicep as soon as he moved within reach, in the exact same place Burke had been holding it moments ago. This time the grip was completely gentle, a thumb running up and down the inside of his arm where the guards couldn’t see. 

Kaidan looked at the other men standing around Burke. They all had dumbstruck looks on their faces. Their eyes darted from Kaidan, to Shepard, and back to Kaidan, like they couldn’t believe that the commander would actually associate with a biotic, much less know his first name.

“He’s coming with me, Burke,” Shepard finally addressed the head guard by the name on his badge, “you will not put him on any shifts tomorrow, or the next day. He can work the gala on New Years Eve if you need him, but _that’s it_ ,” Shepard ordered with finality. He turned around and skimmed his hand down Kaidan’s arm to settle around his wrist, tugging on the biotic to follow him.

The commander didn’t speak to him as they walked, just lead him by the arm to the elevator. He gently pushed Kaidan to stand in the corner to lean against the small rail on the wall, while he pushed the button for the eleventh floor.

Shepard turned around at that point, crowding in closer to Kaidan’s personal space than normal. 

“Kaidan are you- Have you- they told me you spent last night in the barracks with the rest of the guards,” Shepard didn’t seem to know what to do with this hands. He settled on crossing them over his chest. He was close enough that Kaidan could feel the shift in the air it caused, “did you?”

Kaidan was too tired to speak. Shepard probably blamed himself for Kaidan’s long absence, but of course Kaidan knew it wasn’t his fault. Alenko shook his head in answer to the commander’s question. 

“Gods, Kaidan, I am so _sorry_. If I had known, I would have-,” he uncrossed his arms and put a hand on the railing, so, so close to Kaidan’s.

“Not your fault,” Kaidan murmured before John could finish that sentence. Alenko didn’t even have the ability to keep his eyes open anymore, not with Shepard’s warm heat in front of him.

A soft ding let him know that they’d arrived on their floor. Kaidan opened his eyes when Shepard’s hand closed around his wrist again, like letting him go would mean Kaidan would get sucked right back to the security office downstairs.

He was content to let Shepard lead him to the room, his eyes drooping. The feeling of his warm palm against Kaidan’s skin was nice. 

They stopped at the door to the room before Shepard keyed it open. Kaidan took in the dark tan walls and the warm colors of the decor. He was so exhausted.

Noise to his left cause him to turn his head. There was an open door in the wall, that Kaidan realized adjoined this room to another hotel room on the other side of the wall. He could see Garrus sitting on one of the 2 beds in the room, the girls crowded around him, watching something on his omni-tool.

“Kaidy, you’re back!” he heard a shout from one of them, he was so tired he couldn’t even distinguish which girl had said it. He was hit so hard with the force of the three of them trying to embrace him, his legs hit the bed behind him. Kaidan barely managed to keep his balance as he put his hands on their backs, no energy to lean down.

“Girls, Kaidan needs to sleep, so say goodnight.” Shepard had moved across the room to grab the bag Kaidan had brought with him, and started rummaging around inside it. Garrus, Kaidan noted, now filled up the adjoining doorway with his lumbering height.

A chorus of “aaww’s” came from the girls before they dutifully said goodnight to him, earning him three kisses on his cheek, before they shuffled past Garrus into the room they were all sharing.

“I’ll make sure they get to bed before I leave,” Kaidan heard the turian say. He wasn’t sure if it was directed at him, or at Shepard, but he was grateful that they were going to let him sleep.

With that, Garrus gave him one last glance before he closed the door between the rooms. Kaidan just stood in front of the bed, dazed. He was starting to feel like he wasn’t even in his own body, like this must be some weird dream.

Shepard held out some clothes in front of him, which Kaidan realized were the sleep clothes from his own bag. He took them gratefully and walked over to the attached bathroom to change. He came out moments later to see Shepard unbuttoning the front of his dress uniform; Kaidan could see his undershirt beneath. The commander had already taken his boots off, standing in his socks in front of the bed.

The bed. The single, king sized bed, Kaidan’s spinning mind supplied him the revelation. Where was he going to-

“They uh, I guess the hotel didn’t realize you’d be staying with us. I’m sorry. You can take the bed. I’ll go check on the girls,” Shepard didn’t want to seem to want to look Kaidan in the eye as he said it. 

At this point, Kaidan could honestly care less about where he was sleeping. He gave the commander a nod before walking over to pull down the covers.

“Hold on,” he heard a mumble behind him and turned to see Shepard approaching. Why did he keep coming closer? Kaidan’s eyes widened minutely as Shepard’s hands reached up towards his face, only to land on the collar around his neck.

Right. Kaidan held his breath. Usually Brynn ended up taking off his collar in the evenings, she seemed to dislike the carbon fiber piece as much as Kaidan did. Though Shepard had taken off his collar before, it felt far too intimate this time, in the low light of the room, Shepard in his socks, coat unbuttoned, standing next to the bed. He felt Shepard’s fingers brush his neck as he held up a fingerprint to the scanner. The collar snapped open with a click and Shepard finally stepped away.

Kaidan let out the breath he had been holding. Why did he feel disappointed that his collar was the reason Shepard was in his space? What else was Kaidan expecting to happen?

It didn’t matter, he was going to sleep, his mind couldn’t stand to think for a second longer. Kaidan didn’t even check to see what Shepard would do with his collar before he pulled back the covers on one side of the bed and settled under them. He almost let out a moan at the sensation of the soft sheets around him. He could finally sleep.

* * *

Soft light filtering through the opening between the curtains brought Kaidan out of his slumber. He felt like a new person after sleeping like the dead for- how long had he been asleep? He moved his eyes to look at the clock next to the bed. 07:13 blinked the numbers. He buried his head back in his pillow, rubbing his face into it. He’d been asleep for almost fifteen hours, but he still didn’t want to get up. Kaidan rolled over in the bed and froze.

Shepard was sleeping on the other side of the bed from him, facing away, towards the door of the room. Shepard. Here. With him. In bed. Kaidan’s mind wouldn’t stop its short-circuiting as he continued to stare. When did he get here? How long had he been there? Then again, this was technically Shepard’s bed. 

Kaidan’s heart was beating too fast for him to fall asleep now. What if Shepard woke up to Kaidan staring at him? What if Kaidan inched closer and pretended to still be asleep? He was so close, Kaidan just had to reach out a few short inches and he could touch the commander’s bare back. When did he take his shirt off? Oh, this was bad.

Kaidan’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his own stomach growling. He gazed over at the back of Shepard’s buzzed head. Should he stay? No, that was ridiculous. _Stop dreaming, Alenko_ , he told himself. 

Kaidan gingerly rolled out of the bed to go rummage in his bag to find some clothes. Once he’d changed and put on his boots, he looked around to find his collar. It was lying on the dresser, thankfully open. No use getting caught without his collar with so many people around. Kaidan picked it up and begrudgingly placed around his own neck, snapping it closed. He gave one last glance to Shepard, still asleep in the bed, before he opened the door to make his way downstairs.

Kaidan found the buffet and grabbed a bagel and an apple for himself to bring back up to the room. He was on his way to the elevator when he was stopped by a voice in the hall.

“Well, well, well, look who it is,” Kaidan set his mouth in a thin line at the sound of Burke’s voice. He turned around to face the man in question, who was flanked by a couple other guards with smug looks on their faces.

“Fancy meeting you here, biotic,” Burke mocked him, “thought you were just here for security. Didn’t realize you were the commander’s _whore._ ”

“Daddy, what’s a whore?” Kaidan flinched when he heard a small voice ask behind him. Oh god, could this situation get any worse?

“It’s a bad name to call someone, Abby, okay? We don’t use that word.” Kaidan heard Shepard’s deeper voice answer her. The biotic didn’t want to turn around and face him in that moment, so he chose to stay where he was. He looked down at the bagel that no longer looked very appetizing in his hands.

“Is there a problem here?” Shepard’s voice was directed at Burke. Kaidan could feel movement as the commander came to a stop behind Kaidan, his right shoulder just behind Kaidan’s left.

“No, uh, no sir, sorry, sir” the man stuttered. John just stood his ground, not moving an inch, until all three guards finally took the cue to leave. 

“That man is not very nice,” Everly came up on Kaidan’s other side and took his hand. _Understatement_ , Kaidan thought, as he watched Burke’s back get smaller in retreat. His mind reflected over the events of the last few minutes. Burke had thought that he...that he and Shepard were...

“We’re going to go get breakfast, Kaidan,” John turned to look at him with what was probably a much nicer expression than the one he had just given Burke. “Come with us?”

Kaidan shook himself out of his reverie. The commander didn’t seem like he would address Burke’s comments, so Kaidan was fit to leave it there. He tried to smile up at the commander before he leaned down to grab Abby and swing her up in his arms and started to follow Shepard to the dining room. As they sat down at a table for breakfast, he listened to the girls chatter away and felt a knot in his chest relax.

“I have to attend some council meetings today, Kaidan, so the girls are all yours,” Shepard was looking down at his omni-tool, Alenko could see his schedule for the day on the screen.

“All mine, you say?” he asked with a mischievous look, sending Brynn a wink before he started to tickle Everly in her seat next to him.

“No, Kaidy, stop, stop!” she giggled and grabbed his hands, trying to push them off, laughing too hard to really give it any effort.

Kaidan grinned from ear to ear and looked up to see the commander staring at him with a wistful look in his eyes. Kaidan looked back to Everly. He could feel the blush forming on his cheeks. God, why did he have to blush so much?

Whatever might have happened after that point was interrupted when a turian Kaidan had never seen came up to ask Shepard some questions. They spoke until it was time for the commander to leave. He kissed all the girls on the head before he sent Kaidan an apologetic look and walked away, following the turian.

Kaidan then turned to the three beautiful redheads sitting with him at the table. “Well girls, what should we do today?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 chapters left you guys! *heaving breathing* I don't know what I'm going to do with myself after this. Guess I'm gonna have to think of something else to write. Any ideas? ;)
> 
> Here's a short chapter in the meantime. It's the weekend so, as usual I have much more time to write. I'm thinking I'm going to try to wrap this up pretty soon, my brain wants to get to the end while I'm thinking about it.

John gingerly opened the door to his hotel room, praying he wouldn’t wake anyone up. It was nearly two in the morning. Shepard could see Kaidan fast asleep in the bed. He was glad the biotic was actually on the bed and that he didn’t decide to do something self-deprecating as he often did, like sleep on the floor. The commander could make him out in the low light, laying on his side, fast asleep, before the door closed behind him, bathing the room in darkness. 

It had been a rigorous day of meetings, their last session lasting much longer than anticipated, well into the night.

Shepard worked off his boots and put them next to the wall before opening the door to the adjoined room. All 3 of his girls were sprawled out on the two beds, Everly and Brynn sharing tonight, leaving tiny Abigail in the huge double bed by herself. The commander quietly snuck in to place a kiss on each of their heads before moving back to his own room before he shut the door.

He made quick work of changing in to his own nightclothes and brushing his teeth. What a long, boring day. At least Garrus had been there to give him a running commentary on everything, which had definitely added some humor to the otherwise dry meetings.

John took a moment to look at Kaidan, so serene in his sleep. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the dark, he noticed that Kaidan still had his collar on. Brynn must have forgotten to take it off before she went to sleep, and goodness knew Kaidan would never actually ask for it to be removed. The commander tiptoed over towards the bed and slowly sat down on the edge of the mattress. It dipped under his weight, right next to Kaidan’s hip. John moved his hands up to the biotics neck and onto the collar, his hand splayed wider than he might have let it if Kaidan had been awake, thumb resting near the biotic's shoulder, pinky near the corner of Kaidan's jaw.

“Mmph?” Kaidan stirred as the collar let out a ‘click’ when it unlocked.

“Shhh, it’s just me,” John told him in a low voice, placing a hand under Kaidan’s head to pull the collar from his neck. “Go back to sleep,” he whispered. John moved his hand up to run a thumb along the skin of Kaidan's neck, much like he did what seemed like ages ago, when Kaidan still had dark bruises from Cenek's hands. Apparently Kaidan wasn’t all the conscious anyway, as he drifted right back to sleep at the words, nuzzling into the hand under his cheek. John’s heart started beating faster in spite of himself. He stared down at Kaidan’s sleeping form and realized how much he loved him. 

Loved him. _Yes_ , John thought to himself, _I really do love him_. If only he could get himself to admit his feelings to Kaidan.

He stood up and snapped the collar closed at the thought. _Get a hold of yourself, Shepard,_ he tried to tell himself. Even if he did love Kaidan, and by some act of god Kaidan loved him back, there was no way he could make the first move. The collar in his hands reminded him of their situation. John owned the biotic.

He tossed the collar on the dresser in frustration and winced when it made a louder noise than expected. When he didn’t hear any movement behind him, he turned back to the bed, hands on his hips. Well, there was nothing more to be done about it tonight. He walked to the other side of the bed and raised the covers, careful not to wake up Kaidan. He could worry about this more tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, only 2 more chapters to go. *muffled screaming* Thank you so much for all of your kind words on this journey so far. As I said, it's my first time writing, so I'm just overwhelmed at the love I'm getting. <3
> 
> Here's another freakishly long chapter. It's time, y'all. ;)

When Kaidan woke up the next morning, he was alone. He blinked up at the clock next to the bed, which read 10:27. Damn, he definitely hadn’t intended on sleeping for so long. He slowly sat up in bed, rubbing his hands over his face before he pushed himself up and shuffled to the bathroom. He grabbed his clothes on the way so he could change and wash up when he found a note stuck to the mirror.

_Had to go more meetings. :( The girls are with Garrus, we’ll see you at the Gala tonight. :)_

Kaidan smiled at the faces drawn on the note. He hadn’t pegged Shepard as one to use emoticons.

He looked up at his own reflection in the mirror over the edge of the note. Wait. Where was his collar? He didn’t remember Brynn ever taking it off, and Shepard hadn’t been there when-

Sudden memories of last night came flooding back to him. Waking up to see Shepard leaning over him, his warm hand on Kaidan’s neck, fingers brushing over his pulse point. His low voice so close to Kaidan’s ear, the solid feeling of his hip right next to Kaidan’s. His other hand cradling Kaidan’s head as he tugged the collar from his neck. Kaidan shivered, remembering the sensation of Shepard’s fingers in his hair.

He looked back down and read the note again, lingering on the second bit. The Gala. Right. Shepard had mentioned that Kaidan might need to help out with security. As much as Kaidan did not want to be around any of those guards for any longer than necessary, the gala was going to have the biggest crowd of all the events at the summit. If anything were to happen with the girls in the room, Kaidan wanted to be there to make sure they were safe.

With that in mind he put on his boots and went to grab his collar. Which, he realized as he picked it up, was locked closed. Shit. _Shit, shit, shit._

What should he do? He had no idea where the girls were, and no idea where Shepard was. He thought about calling on his omni-tool. But what if Shepard was in an important meeting? God, this was so bad.

Kaidan let out a slightly hysterical laugh when he realized he was actually panicking that he couldn’t get his collar back _on_ , a situation he thought he’d never find himself in.

He turned away from the collar and decided to change into some of the fatigues he’d brought with him, hoping the high collar of the shirt would be enough to hide his neck. He looked in the mirror and made sure the shirt collar was pulled up as high as possible. It would have to do. He looked at the door. Here goes nothing.

Kaidan held his head high as he made his way downstairs in the elevator, entering the security office. Some of the guards inside looked up at him with disinterest, but quickly went back their monitoring.

“Ah, you’re back,” Crawford said from his position at one of the tables. He didn’t scowl at Kaidan like Burke would have, he looked more bored than anything else, like Kaidan wasn’t really worth his time. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and a sheet of paper laid out on front of him on the table. “The commander said you could work the gala tonight. You’ll be outside the ballroom checking invitations. Once the event begins you can head inside to your post, here,” he pointed down at a floorplan of the ballroom, to a place against the far left wall where Kaidan was to be stationed.

Alenko breathed out an internal sigh of relief as no one seemed to notice that his collar was missing. That would not have gone over well.

“You’ll need to report in at sixteen thirty. The gala begins at seventeen hundred sharp,” Crawford finished with a dismissive tone in his voice, likely not wanting to be around Kaidan any longer than necessary.

“Sure,” Kaidan responded, gleefully ignoring his instinct to say, “yes, sir,” before he walked out the door. 

Well, that left him about four hours to himself. What would he even do? He ended up stopping by the buffet to grab some food before heading up to the room to browse the extranet on his omni-tool. The alarm he’d set went off at 16:20, letting him know he had ten minutes to get to the ballroom doors. 

The ballroom actually had multiple entrances and exits, but Kaidan kept a watchful lookout through the crowds of attendees for the girl’s bright red hair or Shepard’s signature buzzcut. 

He was so lost in the act of checking invitations from the restless crowd that he either missed them, or they hadn’t come in through his door.

Kaidan relaxed a little as the last few stragglers found their way into the ballroom. Crawford walked by at that moment to gesture to Kaidan with his finger, signalling him to move to his new post inside.

The ballroom was beautiful, with crystal white and blue decorations everywhere. Giant, sparkling chandeliers hung down from the ceiling, ice sculptures decorated the outskirts of the room and a shining white dance floor sat in the center, right in front of the low platform of a stage. Kaidan spotted chairs and stands behind the stage, most likely meant for an orchestra later on.

Kaidan took his post on the left side of the room and scanned the tables for a glimpse of Shepard. Or the girls. Yes, the girls, not Shepard, he was definitely looking for the girls.

_There must be at least seven or eight hundred people here_ , he thought to himself, eyes scanning over the masses of humans and turians alike.

His eyes finally landed on 3 heads of red hair and Kaidan smiled to himself. The girls looked perfect in their little ballgowns, all in varying shades of blue. Brynn’s was a dark navy, Everly’s a clear sapphire and Abby’s was the lightest in a bright sky blue. Garrus was seated at the same table, dressed in all black finery, looking very nice, if Kaidan did say so himself. The commander had just walked up to the table carrying 3 glasses for the girls and Kaidan had to blink his eyes a couple extra times when he saw the man.

He looked _gorgeous_. While the commander struck a handsome figure in his dress blues, the uniform had nothing on the black tuxedo he was currently wearing. Kaidan felt his mouth go dry as he took in the dark jacket, the pristine white shirt, the long black pants. God, he was perfect.

Kaidan had to yank his eyes away from the sight and forced himself to continue scanning the crowd. He was here for a reason, he couldn’t get distracted.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman. I’d like to thank you all for coming and for allowing me to be amongst you tonight,” Kaidan looked up to the stage at President Celene, who had just walked up to the microphone. 

She wore a floor length princess ball gown that looked like the night sky. It was midnight blue in color, with thousands of little sparkles hidden amongst the tool of the dress, shining like stars. The dress came up to a sweetheart, strapless neckline underneath a sheer layer of silver fabric, which ran up to form a squared off neck at her collarbone, all the way down her arms in long sleeves that shifted from silver to midnight. As she moved, the stars seemed to dance with her, casting hundreds of reflections onto the dance floor below.

Once everyone was seated at their tables, Celene continued to welcome her guests, thanking the turians and humans for their hard work and patience from the past few days. Kaidan tried to keep an eye on the restless guests in the room, too many to watch at the same time. He noted a group of turians at the back, talking as Celene spoke. He also spotted a human male stand up at the back of the room, probably to go grab more drinks for his party. Celene’s dress continued to shine sparkling reflections over the dance floor when Kaidan heard, “Pretty! Shiny!” exclaimed by a very familiar tiny voice.

Kaidan turned his head to the right and time seemed to slow as he noticed multiple things happening all at once.

Abby had gotten up from her seat and started to run toward President Celene’s shiny dress before Shepard could stop her from the other side of the table. At that same moment, the man who had stood up in the back started to make his way toward the stage as well, reaching inside his suit jacket with his right arm.

Kaidan only had about half a second to think before he sprinted forward from his position, yelling an “Abby!” before he saw the man raise a gun out of his jacket and fire in the direction of the stage, towards Celene. Towards Abby.

Instinct took over as Kaidan stopped to throw up his hands, casting a biotic barrier over both the little girl and the President. Unlike the last barrier he’d tried to cast, this one held strong with his determination, absorbing the shot from the gun on impact. The man fired off another shot that was quickly absorbed before two guards ran up to grab the him from behind, wrestling him down to the floor and relieving him of his weapon. He was dragged away screaming something about how they “shouldn’t have trusted _any_ of these aliens,” before the doors slammed closed.

All eyes in the room turned to Kaidan, who still had his hand raised, keeping the barrier up. Still in a bit of a daze, he lowered his hands to his sides and the barrier broke with an electric sound. Only at that moment did the gravity of the situation hit him.

He wasn’t wearing a collar. He’d just used his biotics. In front of eight hundred people. In front of the human president. 

Kaidan’s head was a jumble of half-formed thoughts, his ears were ringing, his vision started to blur as all of the energy drained from him after his feat. His heart began to beat faster than it ever had before. The consequences that could result from his actions began to conjure in his mind. He was going to be arrested, he was going to be taken away from the girls, from Shepard, from Garrus. He was going to be punished. He might not ever see the light of day again.

Kaidan felt dizzy as he was roughly grabbed from behind by two of the guards. The biotic turned his head and was just able to make out that one of them was Burke. Of course it was. Burke slammed cuffs around his wrists before giving him a shove.

They dragged him across the room, in front of everyone, to take him in the same route as the man with the gun.

“Wait!” he heard two voices shout through the fog in his head. The first was Shepard, who had gotten up from his seat and was making his way over to them. The second was President Celene, from her place on the stage.

Kaidan saw Shepard stop out of the corner of his eye at Celene’s words, looking between her and Kaidan like he wasn’t sure if he should listen to Celene or come to Kaidan’s aid.

“Bring him here,” Celene said. Kaidan couldn’t read her tone of voice, but it was no longer the happy lilt it had been when she was speaking to her guests.

The two guards threw him to his knees in front of the stage, right where Abby was still standing, she hadn’t moved, likely frozen in shock from the commotion. 

“Kaidy!” she cried as she ran to throw her arms around his neck. He could only press his chin into her shoulder as his hands were still secured behind his back, the ringing in his ears starting to subside.

“Get away from him!” the not Burke guard cried, trying to pull Abby away.

“No, Kaidy!” she resolutely clung to him, trying to slap the guard’s hands away.

“You, biotic,” Kaidan heard Celene say from the stage above him, “do you have a name?”

He nudged Abby with his chin so that she would let go of his neck before he spoke. “Kaidan Alenko, ma’am,” he responded in a quiet voice, trying to focus on the sparkles as they moved on her dress instead of looking at her face.

At that moment Shepard walked up behind him, putting a large hand over Abby’s arm where it rested on Kaidan’s shoulder. With the guards still on either side of Kaidan, Shepard didn’t have much room to stand. He put his left foot between Kaidan’s shins where the biotic knelt of the ground, the other on the opposite side of Kaidan’s right leg. All Kaidan wanted was to lean back into his space and rest.

“Commander,” Celene addressed him when he moved behind Alenko. “Do you know this man?”

“Yes, madame President, I do.” Shepard responded. Kaidan watched as she signalled for the guards to step away from his kneeling position on the floor. Shepard remained right where he was, his foot moving slightly to stay in contact with Kaidan’s leg.

“And do you trust him?” She questioned the commander.

Did Shepard trust him? He’d certainly trusted him to take down Cenek. But now? John hadn’t looked too pleased the first time he tried a barrier, what would he think now that Kaidan had done it in front of all these people? What if Kaidan had ruined his reputation forever?

“Yes,” Shepard said with an air of absolute certainty. Kaidan closed his eyes in relief and leaned back minutely into Shepard’s space. “I do. I trust him with my life, and the lives of all three of my girls.” Abby had wrapped her arms around Kaidan’s neck once more as the biotic looked at the ground. 

“And was it you who removed his collar?” she added and Kaidan tensed in Abby’s arms. He hoped Shepard wouldn’t get in trouble for this, too.

“Yes, madame president. I did.” Shepard kept his head held high.

There was a long pause where Celene seemed to consider. The room was dead silent, nobody wanting to interrupt the tense proceedings.

“Well, Kaidan Alenko,” Celene began as she stepped down from the stage and moved to stand in front of him. “It appears that I owe you might life. I am in your debt,” she reached out her hand in front of him.

Whether he was supposed to shake the hand or not, Kaidan didn’t know. Instead, he took her hand in his and placed a kiss on top of it, keeping his head bowed.

“You can stand, Mr. Alenko,” she told him. He gave a quick glance at Shepard behind him before moving to follow the order. Shepard had to move his foot so Kaidan could stand all the way, but remained very close behind the biotic. He picked up Abby to hold her in his arms, not moving away from Alenko at all and Kaidan could feel the commander’s forearm brushing his shoulder blade as he slightly rocked Abby in his arms.

“If there is anything that you require, I would give it to you, as a reward in exchange for saving my life. Name anything and I will make sure it is done.” Celene told him in an authoritative voice so everyone could hear.

“I- I don’t-” Kaidan didn’t know what to say. What would he even ask for? He moved a hand up to his neck to rub where the collar should be. “There is nothing I require.”

“No?” She ducked her head to meet his eyes and smiled up at him. Celene then picked up her skirts to step back up to the stage. She walked up to the microphone and turned her gaze to the crowd.

“This man, Kaidan Alenko, was very brave today. Not only did he save my life, and the life of a beautiful young girl,” Celene glanced down to smile at Abby, “but he risked his own safety in doing so. Let it be known that this centennial is not only about the continued peace between humans and turians, but peace between our own, mankind. I declare Mr. Alenko as a free man from this point on. He will be free to go as he pleases, no collars or contracts,” She ended with absolute authority in her voice.

What? He was- what? Was this really happening?

Much to Kaidan’s surprise, the crowd behind him cheered. He looked around to see some unhappy, suspicious faces in the crowd, but for the most part, humans and turians started to clap, some even standing to their feet.

“Kaidan!” he heard the shout of two more voices over the noise of the crowd, as Garrus finally released Everly and Brynn from where he had been holding them so they could run to Kaidan. He put his arms around them and looked up to President Celene as tears began to form in his eyes. He didn’t even know how to respond to her, so he just sent a grateful nod in her direction.

Kaidan turned to look at Shepard who was standing there, cradling Abby to his chest, looking at him like he’d never been more proud of anyone in his entire life. The commander raised his free hand to Kaidan’s face and gently wiped off something under his nose. Blood, Kaidan realized as he looked down at the hand. He must have started bleeding after casting the barrier. 

“I’ll get you some pain meds,” John told him. He hugged Abby to his chest once more. “You stay with Kaidan,” he told her, “I’ll be right back.” He handed the girl over to Kaidan, their arms brushing against each other, before he gave Abby’s hair a stroke and started to walk away. Walk away? Why was he walking away? Kaidan wanted him to stay by his side more than anything in that moment. Instead of stopping him though, he looked down at the girls, finally letting a tear fall from his eye before he reached up to wipe it away. 

“Come on girls,” he told them as he walked them back to their table. Garrus took the moment to stand up and shake his hand, much to the delight of the crowd, sitting at their tables. They let out another round of applause at the proceedings. 

Kaidan ducked his head at the attention and took a seat next to Garrus as Abby climbed on top of his lap. The other girls scooted their chairs as close to him as they could manage.

Celene announced that dinner would be served just as he sat down. She seemed eager to give the crowd something to do with themselves. Guests chattered all around him about what had just happened. He kept spying glances thrown his way, mostly friendly, to his continued amazement. Apparently saving the life of a beloved figure and a tiny girl could change some minds.

John walked back in holding his hand in a fist, presumably with some medicine for Alenko. He stepped up behind Kaidan to hand over the aspirin he was holding, their hands brushing as he did so. Kaidan could feel the suit jacket of Shepard’s tux run along the short hairs on the back of his neck before the commander took a seat on the other side of the girls, pulling Everly to snuggle against him.

Dinner passed in a blur as Kaidan tried to process everything that had just happened. He listened to the girls as they spoke animatedly with Garrus. He glanced up to see John watching him with an unreadable expression.

“Ladies and Gentleman,” Celene spoke from the stage once more, “I would like to announce that the orchestra will begin their first piece in a moment. I would also like to ask Mr. Alenko for the honor of the first dance.” 

All eyes turned to Kaidan as he froze from any movement. “Kaidan,” he heard Shepard’s voice before a foot nudged his shin under the table. He looked up at the commander’s encouraging smile. That was all the permission he needed before he got up from the table and shakily made his way to the dance floor. He bowed to Celene and took her hand, putting his hand on her waist in the correct waltz position. He tried to recall the steps for the dance, trying to think back to the junior high prom he attended in his last year at home. Luckily he didn’t embarrass himself too much as he led the beautiful woman in his arms.

As they finished their dance and another song began to play, an important looking turian approached them, asking Celene for the next dance. Kaidan graciously moved to the side so the turian could assume his position. He was about to walk off the dance floor when Brynn walked up to him in her navy blue dress and gave him a curtsy. 

He couldn’t help but smile down at her as he bowed to answer her curtsy, taking her hand and leading her through a similar dance, albeit a toned down version of the one he shared with Celene, Brynn’s height making it a little difficult.

Of course the other girls wanted to dance with Kaidan too, and they rotated out between the three of them. The four of them ended up in a circle, hands linked, as they spun around the dance floor. Kaidan threw his head back and laughed. 

The song ended and he looked down at the girls, grinning, before looking over at their father, still sitting at the table. Shepard had a very serious expression on his face as he watched his children and Kaidan suddenly stopped smiling. Was something wrong?

He didn’t have long to think about it though, as an older woman approached him and shyly asked him for a dance. She gave him a smile when he took her hand and he led her onto the dance floor.

That seemed to open up the floodgates for anyone who wanted to get a conversation with the first free human biotic in a hundred years. Person after person asked him to dance, song after song, turians and humans included. Kaidan began to feel himself dragging near the end of the night, and despite the meds, the beginnings of migraine began to push on the back of his eyes.

“I’m afraid, ladies and gentleman, that this will be the last dance of the night,” the President announced from the stage. “I would like to thank you all for attending the summit this week, it has truly been a magnificent achievement. With that, I will say goodnight to you, and happy new year.”

Kaidan sighed. One more dance. He looked up to see three people making a beeline for him from a across the room. A human male in an Alliance uniform, a Turian female with bright purple features, and a pretty human female, probably about Kaidan’s age. The human female made it to him first. It looked like she was about to ask him to dance when Kaidan felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned around to see Shepard standing there, still looking incredible in his tux, holding out a hand to Kaidan.

“May I?” he asked. Kaidan felt his breath catch. As if he could ever say no. 

A thrill ran through the biotic as he took Shepard’s hand in his own. The commander’s other hand settled on his waist and he began to lead Kaidan on the dance floor. 

As they slowly turned, Kaidan caught sight of the human female who’d approached him, looking very put out that someone beat her to him.

“How are you holding up?” Shepard asked him, which pulled Kaidan’s eyes back to his face.

“Tired,” Kaidan replied truthfully. Now that he was in Shepard’s arms, he felt like he could finally relax a little. All the stress of the past few hours suddenly hit him like a wall and he sagged somewhat in the commander’s embrace, his head coming closer to Shepard’s own.

“Thank you, Kaidan. You saved Abby. I know I didn’t thank you earlier,” they were close enough now that Shepard only had to whisper for Kaidan to hear him.

“Of course,” Kaidan nodded, looking down at Shepard’s chest, far too close and definitely not close enough to his own. “Always,” he whispered. Kaidan could feel Shepard’s hand move a little lower on his waist. He looked up at Shepard through his eyelashes, their noses almost touching.

The music came to an end and Kaidan jerked away from Shepard at the sudden applause of the crowd. They stood there on the dance floor, just staring at each other in all the commotion, until the girls broke the moment.

“I’m tired, daddy,” Abby whined. She grabbed Shepard’s hand in her left and Kaidan’s in her right, shaking them a little to emphasize her point.

“Okay, munchkin, let’s get you to bed.” Shepard picked Abby up in his arms as he made his way out of the ballroom, the other girls, Kaidan and Garrus all following.

“Well, I’d call that a successful night,” Garrus said, clapping Kaidan on the shoulder. “Seems you’re quite the celebrity now,” he added.

“Mr. Alenko?” someone asked to the side. Speaking of celebrity…

“I have a room key for you, compliments of the hotel.” The attendant handed him a packet with a room number and a hotel key inside.

His own room? Right. Because he was a free man now.

“Thank you,” was all Kaidan could think to say in response.

He looked up to see Garrus and Shepard waiting for him, John refusing to meet his eyes, the girls too tired to figure out what was going on.

Instead of saying anything, Kaidan bent down to pick up Everly in his arms, signalling his intent to stay with the group.

At that, Shepard’s jaw seemed to relax a little and they all started off toward the elevator.

After they had made it up to the room, they helped the girls get changed and ready for bed.

“Say goodbye to Garrus and Kaidan, girls,” Shepard told them as they crawled into their beds.

“Goodnight girls,” Garrus blew something like a kiss in their direction and left through the door in their room. Kaidan stood in the doorway between the two rooms, not quite sure what to do with himself.

“Where is Kaidy going?” Everly asked from where she got the bed to herself that night.

“Kaidan has his own room now, baby,” Shepard told her. Kaidan paled a little.

“Kaidan isn’t staying with us anymore?” Brynn asked. She was a little more alert now, sensing that something was wrong.

“I don’t know, Brynndoline, Kaidan is- he isn’t-” Shepard tried to find the words to say, “Kaidan doesn’t have to work for us anymore. He can go live on his own now.”

Kaidan felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Did Shepard not want him here? Did Shepard want him to be on his own, now that he could? Had Shepard been keeping him around all this time just to be a good, what, owner?

Kaidan fled the doorway but couldn’t bring himself to leave completely. He moved to sit on the far end of the bed in the other room, he could hear voices through the still open door.

“But isn’t Kaidan part of our family?” Brynn asked, Kaidan could hear tears in her voice.

“Yes, baby, of course he is. Don’t worry, you can see him tomorrow before we leave the hotel.”

“Ok…” she replied warily, like she still wasn’t convinced. Kaidan didn’t hear anything else after that, so she must have laid down to sleep.

The entire situation finally hit Kaidan as he sat on the edge of the bed. Sure, Celene had released him of his collar. But what good would that do? Would he be able to start training to use his powers? He wouldn’t be able to get a job anywhere, or at least it would be difficult to find one. Too many people still didn’t trust biotics. Sure, they had been nice to him for one night. But when all the excitement and glamor died down, what would they really think? Celene had released one biotic of his chains, but what would she do for the rest of them? Would other biotics hate him for it? Where would he go? Where would he live? He supposed he could go back to the farm to live with his parents. He thought about leaving the girls, about leaving Shepard. “Part of the family,” Brynn had said. He really did consider them his family now. The thought of losing them- Kaidan didn’t know what he would do.

The biotic heard the adjoining door close as Shepard entered the room. Kaidan sat up straighter on the bed but kept his eyes on the carpeted floor.

“Kaidan…” Shepard started, his voice quiet, like he was trying to let Kaidan down easy.

“Please,” Kaidan swallowed, he could feel the tears already starting to form in his eyes. He tried to swallow away the lump in his throat. “Please don’t send me away,” he got out in a whisper.

_“What?”_ The commander moved to kneel in front of him on the ground and tried to catch his eyes.

“Please-” Kaidan closed his eyes, unable to look Shepard in the face. “I’ll- I’ll keep working for you, I can watch the girls, you don’t have to pay me I’ll- I’ll- I’ll get an apartment nearby, and I can watch them when you’re at work and maybe-”

“Kaidan..”

“Or maybe I could stay at the house, and I could pay you rent- no, wait, I could-”

_“Kaidan,”_ The commander’s tone was firm and low.

Kaidan finally looked up at him, tears streaming down his cheeks as his eyes continued to water. “Please, _please_ don’t send me away. I love it here, I love the girls, I love yo-” 

Kaidan snapped his mouth shut. Had he just? Oh no. He quickly bowed his head, praying Shepard would let it slide. There was a long pause where it seemed like all Kaidan could hear was his own breathing.

“Kaidan, I- I can’t hire you to watch the girls,” Shepard finally began in that same voice like he didn’t know how best to break the news. Kaided nodded at the words, another tear falling down his face. Deep down he knew there was no way things could just remain the way they were.

“I can’t hire you, Kaidan. It just wouldn’t be right. I don’t want you to stay just to watch the girls-”

Kaidan couldn’t take this anymore. 

“I want you to stay because I love you.”

He. What?

Kaidan turned his head to look up at Shepard through tear blurry eyes. He felt Shepard take one of his hands in both of his own. John brought Kaidan’s hand towards his face to hold it against his cheek.

“I love you so much and I want you to stay,” he pressed a kiss to Kaidan’s knuckles, “I want you to stay with me, with us, for as long you’ll have us.” Shepard moved to sit next to Kaidan on the bed, still holding the biotic’s hand in his own, his other hand reached up to cup Kaidan’s cheek, wiping tears away with his thumb.

Kaidan could not believe this was happening. This beautiful, strong, incredible man _loved_ him. Shepard loved him, and Kaidan loved him right back.

Kaidan couldn’t remember how to speak anymore, so he leaned forward into Shepard’s space. Shepard closed the distance between them and brought their foreheads together. He slowly dragged his nose along Kaidan’s and moved his hand to cup the back of Kaidan’s neck. Kaidan let out a slow breath at the sensation, a shiver running up his spine. Shepard ran his nose back down the biotic’s in another slow, oh so slow movement, before he finally, _finally_ , kissed him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, this is disgusting. xD *runs to hide*

He was kissing Kaidan. He was _kissing_ Kaidan. And Kaidan was kissing him back.

John had loved the biotic for what seems like years now, even if it had only been months. Kaidan had all but admitted that he loved the commander and John’s world had turned on its head in that moment. _Is this a dream?_

Kaidan surged forward in front of him, giving himself over to the kiss, finally raising his own arms to wrap around Shepard, one hand resting on his chest, the other hooked over his shoulder.

John ran his tongue along Kaidan’s bottom lip, causing the biotic to gasp at the sensation. The commander seized the moment and licked into Kaidan’s mouth, their tongues mingling together as the dark haired man started to tremble beneath him.

They pulled back for air and John put a finger under Kaidan’s chin, looking him in the eyes, “Okay?” 

The biotic nodded back his assent. Even in the low light John could see his usual blush forming. Kaidan’s eyes flicked back down to John’s lips before he inched forward to connect them again. Shepard couldn’t help smiling into the kiss. This was really happening.

John snaked an arm around Kaidan’s back as he dragged his lips from Kaidan’s mouth to his cheek, down to the corner his jaw, finally landing on his neck. He sucked at the soft skin he found right underneath the biotic’s ear before moving downward. Kaidan let out a breathy sigh above him, one hand moving to cradle John’s head and pull him closer.

John made his way down Kaidan’s neck only to pull back abruptly. Kaidan looked startled as he tilted his head to see what was wrong. Shepard just stared at Kaidan’s neck. He no longer had a tan line from where the collar was used to be, just smooth skin. John raised a reverential hand to run his fingers along the patch of skin where the collar would rest. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, looking back up into Kaidan’s eyes.

He wasn’t sure which one of them leaned in then, maybe they both did, but they were kissing again and, god, this was amazing, Kaidan was amazing.

Gone were the gentle, sweet kisses as they both got more frenzied, their tongues battling for control. Kaidan let out a moan in front of him and John could feel goose-flesh on his arms at the sound. He wanted to hear that sound again, he wanted to make Kaidan moan, he wanted-

John pulled back from their kiss again, much to Kaidan’s confusion. He picked up the biotic’s hand to lay a kiss to his palm in apology before he stood up from the bed. “Hold on, just one second,” he whispered into the skin. Kaidan looked at him, looking dazed, his lips bright pink, as John made his way across the room and locked the door adjoining theirs to the girls.

When he turned back around, Kaidan had a sheepish smile on his face. To his surprise, the biotic got up from his position to walk around the bed towards him. He reached up toward John’s neck and removed the bow-tie that was still there. After setting it on the dresser, he looked back up through his lashes at John in a way that told him that was all the permission he needed. The commander reached out to start removing Kaidan’s fatigues as the biotics hands came up to start unbuttoning John’s own white shirt.

They’d only gotten down to their pants when John surged back in to claim Kaidan’s lips, the biotic happy to meet him halfway. They kissed again, once, twice, three times, before Kaidan had the mind left to step back and finish removing his pants. John followed his lead until they were down to their boxer briefs. They stood there for a second, looking at each other. Kadain gazed at John’s chest and the commander suddenly realized that this was the first time Kaidan had seen him without a shirt on. Kaidan stared at him in wonder for a moment before moving his eyes up to John’s and declaring, “I love you,” with serious face.

Any smirk that John had on his face from Kaidan’s once over fell away. He closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around the biotic’s waist, sealing their lips together.

Shepard pushed him backwards until the biotic’s knees hit the bed. He fell on to it and Shepard moved to hover over him. Kaidan crawled back until he could rest his head against the pillows, John following, all the while trying not to break their kiss.

John ran his hands through the biotic’s hair, around the back of his head, and down his neck. He played with the short hairs at the nape of Kaidan’s neck as they exchanged kisses. His finger ran over a ridge at the base of Kaidan’s skull and the biotic _moaned_. 

_His amp port_ , Jon’s hazy brain somehow supplied. The commander repeated the motion to receive another moan and a breathy, “Shepard,” from the biotics lips.

“It’s John,” Shepard murmured to Kaidan, running his finger over the port one more time, earning a full body twitch and a bit off moan from the biotic beneath him.

“John,” Kaidan whispered up at him, opening his eyes to look into the commander’s face. John could see a slight blue tinge starting to form in them, from his unchained biotics.

Hearing his own name Kaidan’s lips was probably the best sound he’d ever heard in his life. He need to hear it again.

He claimed the biotic’s lips once more and ground their hips together. They both moaned this time, he could hear Kaidan’s panted breaths beneath him.

“John,” Kaidan said into this kiss, causing the commander to break away and look down at his face.

Kaidan’s eyes were blown wide, his irises almost black. Kaidan reached up run a reverent hand from John’s forehead down to cup his cheek. “Make love to me,” John could barely hear his whisper.

John’s mouth fell open slightly at the request. He stared down at Kaidan’s gorgeous face. This beautiful man, who loved his girls like they were his own, who loved _him_ , was here, in his arms, giving himself to John. And John would give himself right back.

He didn’t need to say anything as he covered Kaidan’s body with his own. He intended to worship this exquisite man tonight. His strong, gentle, gorgeous biotic. His Kaidan.


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my friends, this is it. Thank you so much for sticking with me. This is an epilogue of sorts. I know some of you have requested that I continue the series after (which like woah, I'm extremely flattered), and maybe I will, if the inspiration strikes me. I'm usually more of a "happy ever after" kind of person, so I guess we'll see how it goes. I've also considered doing something like "deleted scenes" later on, so maybe that's a possibility as well.
> 
> Thanks again for all of your kudos, comments and support. Y'all are the best! <3
> 
> I'm gonna go play Mass Effect 3 now. Again.

“Alright, let’s stop for the day. I think you’re making excellent progress.” Kaidan watched as Liara moved from her stance in the Alliance training room to give him a squeeze on the arm.

“Thanks, Liara,” he smiled at her, wiping the sweat off his brow and moving to pick up a water bottle. He had made excellent progress, learning how to use his biotics. Of course it had not been easy at first, but having Liara as a teacher made things much easier.

“They’re here,” a third voice announced from the doorway. Kaidan turned to see Garrus standing there with his arm on the door frame, body angled out toward the hall.

“You ready?” Kaidan heard Liara ask. He took another gulp of water before giving her a nod. He set down the bottle and made his way towards Garrus, her footsteps following him.

They walked into the lobby of the Alliance offices where some 30 young men and women were standing. Commander Shepard was in front of them, Kaidan could hear his voice welcoming them to the facility.

“They’re all yours, Liara,” Shepard didn’t even break the momentum of his speech as they walked up to him.

“Thank you, Commander,” she said in an official voice. “Hello, and welcome to the Alliance.” Kaidan watched as the asari looked over the humans standing in front of her.

“I hope that you all feel privileged to know that you will be the first class of many to help train biotics, such as yourselves, to embrace their powers and learn to use them correctly and peacefully.” Liara smiled at the group, who looked at her with hopeful eyes.

“I’m sure you all know of Kaidan Alenko,” Kaidan blushed a little as Liara gestured back to him, drawing all eyes of the group in his direction. “He is the first to start this galaxy wide movement, which we hope that one day will lead to the complete emancipation of human biotics everywhere,” a cheer came from one the women at the back of the group, soon spreading to the other biotics until they were all clapping and cheering at the proclamation.

“Now, let’s get started,” was the last words Kaidan heard from Liara before he felt an arm loop around waist.

“We did it,” Shepard whispered into his ear and Kaidan couldn’t help beaming up at him. 

After almost a year of committee meetings, arguing and diplomacy, Shepard had finally received permission for the Alliance to start to training human biotics. Though they had basically been stonewalled at the beginning, Shepard had not only the assistance of influential friends such as Garrus and Anderson, but the support of President Celene herself. Now, after much blood, sweat and tears, and under Liara and the Alliance’s supervision, they would help selected biotics to remove their collars and learn to control their powers. The plan was for them to learn how to use them correctly, before they would graduate out of the course and into the free world.

“Yes, we did,” Kaidan turned in Shepard’s arms before he leaned in for a deep kiss.

“Not in front of the children!” came Ashley’s voice as she walked up with all three girls. They ran up to Shepard and Kaidan to hug them both around the waist.

Kaidan saw Shepard roll his eyes before he gave her a “thanks, Ash,” in a heartfelt tone.

“Who are they, daddy?” Abby asked. Kaidan smiled as the commander picked up his youngest daughter so she could see all the heads in the crowd of biotics.

“They’re people, just like Kaidan, who are going to get their collars off today. They’re going to start new lives.” 

“So they can be in families too, just like Kaidan is in our family now?” Brynn’s ever quick intuition sounded from Kaidan’s right.

“Yeah, baby,” Kaidan glanced up as Shepard gazed into the biotic’s eyes. “They can all be in families, just like ours.” 

Shepard leaned over to give Kaidan a quick peck on the lips before kissing him on the temple. He proceeded to kiss Abby on the forehead, wrapping his free arm around Everly. Kaidan put a hand over John’s on Everly’s back, using his other arm to reel Brynn in to his side.

“They really are disgustingly cute, aren’t they?” he heard Ashley’s voice ask Garrus who stood beside her.

“Hmm,” was the only reaction the turian gave in the deep bass of his voice.

“Oh, just get over here,” Shepard told them. Ashley grinned as she made her way over, standing behind Brynn and putting both her hands on the girl’s shoulders. Garrus squeezed his way in between Brynn and Shepard, their shoulders brushing.

Kaidan looked around at all the faces in the circle with sudden emotion. His friends. His girls. His love. His _family._


End file.
